well i started yesterday feeling very sick, i thought it was going to be a disaster, when i put my trousers on they drowned me, i didnt realise id lost so much weight, my mother and sister in law arrived 5 mins before the car and hardly said 2 words to me, makes a change, so me and kids just looked out for each other, i could not believe it their was no room for anyone else the chapel was packed, and the service was everything i could wish for , it was beautiful and julians dr read the euolgy brilliantly ,we arrived to what a beautiful day ,by the levellers , then had snow patrol, run for reflections , which their wasnt a dry eye anywhere, a friend read my poem for me ,also beautifully and we finished with the pompey chimes football song which as i hoped everyone left smiling, their was lots of little footballers and lots of big footballers , and so many friends , some of which sadly i didnt get a chance to speak too as so many people their, i did feel very sad that ju,s mum and sister obviously found the service not to their liking and only spoke to me to say goodbye, but i did what my lovely hubby wanted it was a celebration of a lovely , kind ,warm man , and i know he would be so very proud of me and the kids , yes their was lots and lots of tears , but as well as sad tears their were happy tears , for a very special man, hubby ,friend and dad,
so to today , im exausted ,ive not slept or eaten properly for two days , my dr has just rung me to see how i am, and asked if i want some sleeping tabs but i said not yet i will keep trying with hot choc for now ,but i do feel better today ,i still have the sense of peace , that ju is with me and i truly believe i have done exactly what he would have wanted, so RIP my sweetheart xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
