Well im back to my usual cheery self ,thank godness , its been a tough few weeks with lots of first's , but as usual me and the kids have got through it together , we are now so close its lovely ,
But i have realised im doing too much, im exausted, im loving organising this charity event but i need a break so we are going away monday for a few days ,just to a holiday park not far away so wont have a long drive , and we just going to swim , and have time together , having fun , i think will do me the world of good ,
And then i come back to charity day, and i cant wait now, ive put so much in , im just praying for good weather , and im so pleased and touched some friends off mac are coming, and those who cant come i know will be with me in spirit , lets hope for a very fitting memorial ,
But i do have one worry atm ,to you all it may sound silly but thats me, my best friend is having her naming day ceromony on sunday for her beautiful little girl, and as some of you know im going to be her guardian , but im so worried im going to lose it and cry when they make their speech , as im still so emotional the slightest thing sets me off ,and i dont want to upset their day , as i love them all dearly ,i couldnt have asked for better friends than them , without them i honestly dont know how id be coping now, and that little angel everytime i hold her my pain just dissapears for a little while, and when she smiled at me for the first time the other day i just melted , im very blessed in many ways :)
I really hope anyone reading my blogs doesnt just see the sadness , but slowly a family building themselves back up ,with love and support from friends ,and in my case my amazing mac friends ,who are always their , no matter what , one told me yesterday that im an angel for helping others when im going through so much , but i dont see it like that ,if i can reach out and help someone else ,then my pain and sadness has not been for nothing, and if i can make someone laugh well that just makes my day , i know everyone on chat thinks im bonkers ,well i am ,and proud of it ,and if i can make you smile thats fab :)
But i will finish with lots of love and hugs for everyone as thats what im best at xxxxxx
