I as many of you know have been struggling a bit the last few weeks , but i feel like i am slowly feeling better , but i even suprised myself yesterday , i recieved a phonecall at work mon to say i had a shift in A&E yesterday ,normally we have to do a week of shadow shifts first but apparantly my work speaks for its self and they said they were just going to throw me in at the deep end , i was really chuffed and excited and very nervous A&E is so differant to the wards , my confidence has recently hit rock bottom again due to some stuff thats happened so even though i hoped i was up to it i wasnt sure ,
So i dont know what came over me but the minute i walked in i felt like i belonged and knew exactly what i was doing ,i shone with confidence ,i just got on with it , it was absouloutly manic, trolleys in corridors, lots of blood ect ,but their was a calm to the chaos you wouldnt have know we were run ragged , i learnt so much , i was removing venflons and cannulars after only being watched do it once , i was doing dressings ect and lots of stuff ive not done before , neuro obs were a bit scary but soon got the hang of it , it is quite scary being so responsible but i loved it ,
I was exausted after my shift but so happy , i really hope some more shifts come up their soon as i havent felt that confidence in my self and my abilities in a long time , i love working on the wards too but A&E was amazing and such a challenge ,it has done me the world of good , it has left me feeling i can acheive anything if i put my mind to it, it has reminded me i am now a strong, independant ,confident young woman, not just a widow & a mum and i should believe in myself a bit more as others do :)
