well i started today knowing it would be very sad, but also happy , for those of you that dont know ju managed a boys footy , he started at under 8 S, they are all now 12, same boys you move up with them, i was also involved too, anyway a few days before ju died they only went and won the league , unbelievable , well their was not a dry eye anywhere, on the pitch ,all kids ,parents coaches stand in manager, aand here where i was with ju, his face was a picture , and yes tears here too, well then sadly we lost ju, their was a lot of talk about whether the footy team should come to funeral, well i felt if they wanted to they should, so thats what we did and about 10 of them came, yes they cried , but they also had a great time at pub afterwards, the sat after their were questions whether they should play their match, my answer was of course yes they should, and those boys played so well , it was like a weight had been lifted of them, inc luis our son, little star scored and has scored every match since, i like to think someone is up their helping him along :),, anyway ,today was presentation of medals and cup for winning the league, i was so tearful this morning but i knew i had to go , cant let luis down, the sun was shining all the boys having a fab day, luis was offered captain band but said no as too shy ,bless his dad was like that too,, i was ok at that point until , all boys got their medals , lifted the trophy ,then they all lifted them up together ,and said this is for julian ,well that was it ,i couldnt stop the tears ,ive started again writing it down, it was amazing, they loved him so much and he was so proud of all of them, they then all dragged me into team photos , still crying , and lots of hugs followed, and then the stand in manager , came to me and gave the team trophy to put on the mantle piece, he said that was where it belongs and gave me a hug ,so i i started crying again, so thats where it is now sitting, :))
so i now feel very tired ,crying does that, but feel very proud of everything ju achieved and all those boys, i have to face it again in may as we have club presentations and even harder ju wrote a speech for it before he died , which i have added to , and i can guarantee it wont only be me in tears that night ,my heart feels very heavy today, and i still feel that physical pain from missing my amazing man , but i think i did very well getting through today as was always going to be a stuggle but yet another thing ive faced and done and i think ju would be sitting up their and smiling proud of me too xxxxxxxxxx
