Well where do i start , maybe the nice glass of champagne im drinking atm, well earnt i think ,
Last night at 4 am i watched my best friend give birth to a beautiful baby girl , a home water birth , i could not ever explain what an experiance it was ,but i have fallen in love :) and cried and cried so many happy tears seeing her come into the world , but then after the perfect birth it all went wrong , my best friend ended up having to go into hospital sadly for an op , i wont go into details ,but i went with her in ambulance while dad followed with bubs , and lucky me after hour or so dad got their and went into theatre with her , so i got pleasure of bubs all to myself , bliss , then she started crying so went for a walk to calm her ,easily done so far she is very easily calmed down, so i had a *ju* talk with her i dont need to tell you what but i almost felt his arms round me as i was snuggling her, he loved bubs as much as me ,he felt as his life ended hers would begin , anyway surgery went well then all went wrong again so been in hospital till 6 pm bless her , i ended up with the best job of all playing mum all day ,nappies ,cuddles , and lots more cuddles was in my element , the trust they placed in me meant the world to me :)
well delivered mum ,dad and bubs (no name yet ) home , another very precious goodbye cuddle ,then they collared me and thanked ME !!!! i couldnt believe it , im the lucky one ,well they then both gave me the biggest hug and i had to leave as that was it , i got in car and it hit me what an intensive 24 hrs had been , no sleep ,so look like shit , as kids told me when i got in :) , i started driving and the tears started , i couldnt stop was like my heart was breaking , from missing ju so much , im off again now ,but i know he was their with us ,and the thought of that little life in my arms , so now having some bubbly toasting loved ones and friends who have given me an insight into precious life begining ,life sadly ending ,and such an odd coincidence the bed clare spent all day in today ,was same one i had my prem son in , so could see and feel ju with me past and present today, thats not an accident !!! and now i wish i didnt but friends coming to watch footy ,all i want is dinner ,bath and bed , and maybe more bubbly :) but may have to chuck them out at half time or ill be asleep on sofa , im not getting changed or tidying up before they can take me as find me or go home,,
so tears dried ,what an experiance to hold that little treasure in my arms, my heart is ready to feel love again , no matter how painful ,
love and hugs to all xxxxx
l oved bubs as much as me
nd ended
