I wasnt going to blog today , but i saw on the young widow thread ,their is some really sad posts ,i have posted on their but i also wanted to blog too, for anyone else who hasnt read it ,
It will be 7 months tommorow since ju died, its also my daughters 14 th birthday ,yet another one of those crappy firsts, but do you know what im ok !!!! this time their were no tears whilst shopping for or wrapping her pressies , and made her cake this morning and i really enjoyed it, dont get me wrong of course i miss and love ju so much ,but time is helping ,as is the kids, friends, *you know who you are * and my new job, which i feel i should have done a long time ago but hey ho thats life , im doing it now,
I did have a very special moment yesterday with neve , she is teething and i was cuddling her as shes very cuddly atm and she fell asleep in my arms all snuggled up to me that did make me a bit tearful only coz of the feeling of that little life in my arms and i so love her like shes my own, soppy i know but i dont care ,thats me
The reason i did this blog is to show ,you can be happy again , a few other things have happened this week ,and its been a good week for me, everyone says i look happy and healthy again ,my kids are saying its nice to see me smiling so much ,and i love having a smile back on my face, of course its not their all the time , but im happier than i have been for well over a year, its been the toughest year of my life, but i can see my way forward now and that feels great ,
love and hugs jenni xxxx
