Chemo failed again.

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Just had a call from my oncologist to say that the chemo has done nothing. I had tumours removed from bowel and liver 18 months ago but had some spread to my lungs. I had chemo before and after surgery which shrunk nothing, a further 3 months of a different drug which resulted in growth, a further 3 months which made me lose my hair but no shrinkage. I will go to see him on Thursday but he says it looks as if we should just monitor it. There may be options but he says after 4 drugs failing we need to think if it is worth it. I find the hospital treatment very difficult as I am phobic about hospitals. They have made special efforts to accomodate me but I still have big problems with it.

I have not had a day's illness since my diagnosis 2 year's ago, not even a cold and I worked through a lot of the chemo. I have just decorated the living room and hall and I don't feel or look ill at all. I haven't even lost an ounce of weight even after 28 doses of chemo.

I just can't take it in that this disease will kill me, it may be later rather than sooner but I want another 20 years not 2. I am 63.

Thanks for reading, and best wishes and better results to anybody who is waiting for results.

Love Jen XX

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