Since losing my hair it has struck me as being really unfair that no one bats an eye at those of the male gender who wander around with their heads bald as coots. Some are attractive I admit but others are frankly quite ugly. So what about us of the female gender? Well I have been ruminating about this for a while and finally decided action was needed. But would I have the courage? Initially I covered my head with a range of hats and was reluctant for family to see my pate, not because of embarrassment on my part but for fear of it upsetting them. But the hats made me flaming hot! I have a wig which I have worn once on a theatre visit and spent most of the time sitting ridgidly for fear of it slipping. My so supportive husband did get out the double sided sticky tape and offer to apply it. Needless to say I declined but having got on the bus with a driver who was determined to drive at speed through every pothole in the road until reaching the terminus I began to doubt my judgement. I have also bared all ( only the head mind you ) in governers’ meetings at friends’ houses and am quite happy to do that. Well I have recently begun to refoliate ( I hope that is a real word) I’m between peach fluff and soft felt. So if I was going to do something the time was right. The last couple of week’s I’ve been whipping the hat off when I’ve got off the bus and walking home. People’s reaction is quite strange, some smiles , one lady said hello, but the men seem to look away. But today I thought I go for the big time. Well it wasn’t really the big time, it was just a supermarket shop Sainsburys to be exact. It had been snowing a little and my hat was a bit wet. Well I did it. Got through the doorway whipped off the hat and did the shopping and then went into the café for something to eat with my bald head. And do you know after the initial trepidation it felt good! So tomorrow ,courage willing I’m going to get on the bus minus hat and I am going to shop in town minus hat And I will hold my head up with pride.
Take care all
Kathx
FormerMember
Yes, I think it's a good idea to go hatless, as long as it isn't too hot or cold. I'm just a little envious that my chemo didn't leave me hairless. By now, most of it would have grown back, not long of course, but I could be grey all through instead of just a bit on the side.
I'm sure you're right about people just not being used to women without hair. I always think that bald men look nice. Tidy, and often with beautiful heads. Even Jade Goody looks good bald.
I could start with the fashion of wearing flowers in my hair. I also like some of the lovely wild grasses I see on my walks. I will start putting them in my hair. A delicate spray of Yorkshire fog behind one ear perhaps?
Jazzcat - I am nearly in the same boat as you and have taken on all your remarks with awe! Will definitely be emulating your confidence and considered course of action.
Thank you for your graciousness and two fingers up to our malcondition! THAT's spirit.
Well as I said I went out today minus hat bald to the world and do you know it was no big deal. What I did realise as I walked around town was that we actually become so embroiled in what we are doing we do not look at the people we are passing by. There was one strange incident that I can't fathom out though . I was waiting at a bus stop and a young couple pushing a pram rushed by to get to the next bus pass. As he passed me by he repeated several times in quite a loud voice "silly n......." I can't write the word it is one of those extremely racists words, whereupon he turned and looked at me obviously hoping for a reaction. Now the strange thing is I am not of colour so what planet he came from I do not know! The rest of the day went really well and I think I can say I will be dumping the hats from now on! I also love the way the wind blows and the rain falls on my head. Go on girls, give it a try.
I've barely worn my wig either. I use hats, scarves etc when I feel cold but otherwise have gone 'naked' almost from when my hair fell out. I hate my head getting too warm and hadn't worn hats much for years as my hair was extremely long and adequate for keeping me warm except in extreme temperatures.
The way I see it if I'm comfortable that's what matters. And if people see us 'naked' (headwise) then I suspect it increases the understanding that people with cancer are still people first. I don't hide the fact I have cancer so I don't need to hide my hairlessness!!
But I do appreciate that for many people their own self-image demands that they cover their heads or wear wigs.Speaking to ladies at Look Good Feel Better I was surprised to find out that for some even allowing their husbands and family to see them without a wig is unacceptable, while others are happy for family to see them in hats/scarves but need their wigs to go out in public. The one conclusion we all came to is that so long as each individual is comfortable it really doesn't matter which category you fall into so long as your happy!!
I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable about what I wrote and I certainly do not think it is vain not to want to go out bald. It is so important to feel normal and I think one of the things this bl...y disease is to take away that sense of normality. I don't feel comfortable wearing a wig because it doesn't feel like me it makes me feel abnormal, that's one of the reasons I wore hats and it has taken me a long time to pluck up the courage to go without one. Leaving the hat at home has enabled me to stick one finger up to cancer and to regain some of the power I want to hold over it.
