why cruel time scales that take away any hope?

I am so sorry to hear your news Jane.  Doctors give these timescales, but they really do not know because everyone is different and so many times they are proved wrong.  

They told me I had 6 months - 2 years but I fully intend to prove them wrong and I sincerely hope that your Mum does the same.  I am going to fight with every breath in my body - and in 2 years time I will be still here, and I will tell the doctor what I think of his timescale!

My family are struggling to cope with this devastating news - but we have had so much support and help from family and friends and this is making the journey more bearable.  

You should have been put in contact with a Macmillan nurse?  They are really excellent and will help you a lot.  Take any help that is offered as there are a lot of things that can be done to help you get through this.

My very best wishes to you and your Mum at this terrible time.  Take care.

XXX

this is something i cant figue out myself as a patient who has met loads of other patients in hospitals and chemo units etc etc....i have hardly ever met anyone who was given a time scale but now on here it seems everyone who joins has been given a few weeks or a few months...maybe its something the specialists are doing more often in the last few months....i know it happens more after patients have had some treatments , but some seem to be getting told from day one that they have a few weeks or a few months before they have even had any form of treatment....

Hi there, i felt i had to reply to your post, i dont post on here very often now, just stay in the bowel cancer forum.

My partner who is 43 was diagnosed last May with recurring rectal cancer which had spread to his liver. We wsere told at the time (very abruptly may i add) that there was nothing that could be done as it was in both lobes and he would have palliative chemo only. Since then he has had one course of chemo which initially shrunk the tumours and then stopped working. He has had radiotherapy which put him in hospital for a week but does seem to have controlled his pain. He then went on to have second line chemo, he had one cycle which nearly killed him and Monday of this week we were given the devastating news that all treatment has been stopped and they have given him a timescale of 3 months.

All through this i never wanted a timescale as have others have said they really cant tell for certain and everyone is different. But my partner wanted to know and i had to respect his decision. Nothing has changed, just someone telling us '4 months'.

We are trying to focus on a day at a time and its all about how he feels on a day to day basis. In a strange way its almost a relief of sorts, theres nothing else to be frightened of, no more scans to fret about, no more nasty side effects from chemo, just getting through each day. He is determined to beat this timescale and his goal is to see his next birthday which is in August.

I know how terribly cruel it is to beat it once only for it to return, my partner beat bowel cancer 6 years ago only for it to return last year, it was even more devastating this time.

All we can do is keep fightin, stay positive, and make the most of each day.

Pm me anytime if you need to chat, theres always the groups, there is a group for secondary liver cancer. As for what to expect, i dont really want to go into that as i dont want to upset you and everyone is different anyway.

Sending much love and (((((hugs))))) to you, hang on in there, Julie xx

Thank you so much for your kind and wonderful support.

In some ways it is terribly difficult to read some of your experiences because suddenly it is all so terrifyingly real, i cannot believe what a sheltered life my family have led up until 18 months ago.

Cruel cruel cancer.

You are all so incredibly brave and courageous, not because you probably want to but because you have to be. Thank you for sharing your experiences, not only for the good advice but for giving me the strength to try and think positive for mum.

At the moment my mum doesn't want to fight but i am hoping she will find the strength from somewhere. She had a palliative nurse visit for the first time this week who was also surprised the doctor gave a timescale, she explained they never really know. Also she is confident that mum would cope with chemo much better this time as last time she had just had the whipple procedure and was not very strong at all. We have to wait until the end of the month to see the chemo guy but hopefully by then mum will feel stronger and will want to prove the doctors wrong too XXXXXXXXX thank you allXXXXXXXXX