I miss my new husband so much ..he is tying so hard to get over here to stay with me foer good i was due to move to Canada to live my new life there when cancer had other ideas ..its very hard for him as he has to watch me suffer via the computer and he has to get a settlement visa and we have to sponcer him from here and send him the papers we are moving ahead but it still takes time ..and i feel its so wasted as i feel each moment is precious rto me and to be without him breaks my heart and there is no way to fix things start RT on monday and so scared of being alone at home during this time my daughter alison is a nurse and has two small children to look after as well as pop into see me my friend Brian has to go home to work for just over a week but he said he will be back but i am so so scared i hope i get the courage to face whatever the treatment throws at me ..but its hard as my heart is already broken over ken not being with me ..I know there is nothing anyone can do but just writing about how i feel is like talking about it just wish i did not feel so lost at time i do get moments of inner strength where i think yes i can do this just take it as it comes and dont look for it ..but those moments dont last very long again wish Ken was here .
Love Jan x
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