I cant believe that i actually had a full bowl of my homemade lentil soup today ....my mouth is still sore post treatment and it gets me so down ..i am so fed up with milky drinks but i am trying hard too get off my NG tube but i am very hard on myself i am meant to take this 600 calorie drink milkshae made with full milk once a day plus try and take my soups and puddings plus i am still taking 2 ensure drinks down my tube but hope to eventually stop that ....I have no idea what to do or how long its going to take me to do this ..sometimes it all feels too much for me ...the past few days i have been feeling very tired and napping a lot and dont seem to have that push in me to make it happen ...i just feel so scared ...scared to drink a milky drink how sad is that ....I just want to get some of my life back but unsure if that will ever happen after going through cancer treatment ....Mornings are my worst i just feel so bad in the morning have no idea when ken leaves how i will manage on my own to get up and get meds and food taken ..it all seems too overpowering but i gues i will have to as i dont have any choice in the whole thing ....not know when i will see my husband again brings me to my knees and breaks my heart ...my appointment for my fisrt followup on the 3oth was cancelled and now its the 20th ken will still be here as we have a few things we want to ask ..like my ability to visit canada to see him as it will take him around a year to get our paperwork completed and i hope he will get his visa to come stay for good it feels so unfair as i need him so much he has been my rock during my treatment and recovery i had hoped to feel better than i do now but i guess when i look back i have came a long way .
Are there any fellow sufferers out there trying to eat a little
god bless
love jan x
