As I promised to keep this up to date I thought I better had,,,,,don't want to start off by telling lies do I?
Quite disappointingly I've had very little news today - I was sort of hoping than the good old NHS would have sprung into action and booked me a table in a theatre somewhere but apparently not - seemingly I will be discussed at Mondays meeting and my treatment mapped out from there. The only news wasn't that great to be honest - I'm now off of the Mage A3 trial I was due to start next week. That's a shame as it has had excellent results on stage 4 melanoma and the initial findings have been very positive on stage 3's like mine. I'm now being referred to a doctor chap in Southampton who is running a few trials, so hopefully I'll get on one of those and equally hopefully not be placeboed.
So, what to write today?
Well, I've been surfing around macmillan land most of the day and must say that I've found it to be many things rolled into one; informative, inspirational, happy, sad, helpful and friendly but above all, honest. I guess that's because most of what's written on here comes form the pen (ahem keyboard) of ordinary folk who are living with cancer, in all it's forms, every single day.
I find it interesting that much of what's written is by those closest to the person who has the disease. Without a doubt this helps me. You see, to me this is no different to having the flu or a broken arm, it's something wrong with me that needs fixing - in actual fact I feel fine.
I'm still at work, granted much of this can be done from home in sunny Salisbury but last week for instance, I was away for a couple of days filming promotional videos in Newport Pagnell (yes I get all the good gigs). Next week I'm off to Woburn, Worksop & Lincoln - alright it's hardly London, Paris and New York - but my point is I'm just carrying on as normal.
I take football training twice a week and we are now playing pre-season friendlies on Saturdays (in fact tomorrow we are playing the side managed by my brother. Although I love him to bits and he's been great through all of this, trust me, tomorrow at 3pm there'll be no quarter asked or given). Normal, normal.normal.
But then I look at Penny my wife and see the worry in her eyes. I phone Mum to let her know what's going on and hear the sadness in her voice. I stand there at training and let my lads know what's going on with me and the banter stops immediately and for a fleeting minute everyone becomes serious (only for a minute mind). The word cancer just strikes fear into everyone and obviously, very obviously, affects more than just the infected. So coming on here and reading the thoughts of those closest to those with the 'big C' has helped me understand what my nearest and dearest must be going through. So keep writing people, keep writing.
Another thing that has struck me as a common thread is waiting. Waiting for news, waiting for appointments, waiting in waiting rooms. God if I'd a pound for every minute I'd spent waiting since diagnosis I'd be a rich man. In fact a couple of days ago whilst sat in the waiting room, contemplating what horror awaited me the other side of the FNA door, a nurse publicly rebuked a young girl for being 30 minutes late for her scan. The nurse you see had other things to do, people to see and it was highly inconvenient having patients turn up late blah blah blah. Meanwhile I sat there patiencely waiting for my appointment that was supposed to be 35 minutes ago - I guess I didn't have other things to do, people to see blah blah blah. If only I'd had the gonads to say something, but hey I'm British.........
So that's all for now folks - got to go and plot the downfall of my evil brother. Nothing quite like sibling rivalry to bring out the best in people eh? Maybe he'll let me win 'cos I'm ill.........hahahahahaha
