Breaking my virginity - the first post.

4 minute read time.

Everything was going along quite nicely thank you. 

I'd just been promoted at work and assumed responsibility for a portfolio of products worth about £12m to us. 

On top of that I'd just been made manager of Shrewton Utd - a semi professional football club playing in the Western league.  In fact even as the news of this appointment was being released to the local media, almost to the second, I got the phone call.......

I'd been into Hospital, day surgery to have what everyone thought was a squamous cell carcinoma removed from my left shoulder.  I'd come home none the worse for wear, parked the experience and moved on.  But now a couple of days later was Mr Khan the consultant ringing me to ask if I could come in for a chat, 'this afternoon if possible'.  It wasn't going to be good was it.......

Melanoma....kill you.....surgery......other stuff....it all just kind of washed over me to be honest.  This couldn't possibly be happening to me, not now, how bloody inconvenient.  Still, clear your head, knuckle down, put your faith in the experts and get through it.....whatever it is?

First off a CT scan to determine if the Melanoma has spread to any vital organ.  I'd picked up that if it had, then I was in deep doodoo, so I was sort of hoping it hadn't.  Tip number one:  if offered a CT scan at 9 O'Clock on a Friday morning seriously think about declining.  The results, you see, are not available until the next working day.  This means worrying for the whole weekend and it isn't just you worrying, it's a collective worry; wife, children, parents, relatives, friends & colleagues.  I knew it was a group worry by the amount of 'likes' my 'phew clear' facebook status received - news speads quickly on social networks.

So OK I lied a little - it wasn't completely clear there was an enlarged lymph node that needed further investigation, so a core biopsy is advised as the way forward.  Google.....oh my.....as somebody that suffers a phobia of needles this just isn't going to be good but as my daughter pointed it out 'It's for your own good Dad', so off I go to radiology.

Now I won't lie, it hurt.  My wife described it as brutal.  It was the singularly most unpleasant thing I can remember putting myself through (and I've been to war).  However I survived and after all 'it was for my own good'.  Unsurprisingly the 4 times biopsied node was positive for melanoma cells, so I was duly booked in to have a further portion of shoulder removed then grafted and to have the lymph nodes removed from under my left armpit.

A funny thing happened at the operating theatre - my technician was a lad I'd been in the army with.  It was strangely calming to have somebody you know sticking needles in you whilst discussing brass bands and so to sleep.......

Post op was OK to be honest.  A little pain but hey I'd just had bits cut off me so that wasn't a massive shock.  Slight inconvenience due to restriction of movement but no biggy.  Frustration like you wouldn't believe - they weren't letting me home until my drain was at 30ml or less for a day and it just wouldn't get there.  7 whole days it took but on the plus side at least I was properly rested.  I won't even mention the effect the antibiotics had on my stomach contents, suffice to say it wasn't pleasant.

And so to home.  Rest and recuperation.  Out patients visits to the plastics clinic and enrolement onto a clinical trial.  Six weeks after surgery everything just about healed up and back to normal.  CT scan done as a precursor to the trial beginning and bam......

Another enlarged lymph node needs investigating, this time in my neck.  Back into radiology, this time for a FNA (they stick a needle in your neck) which unsurprisingly shows the node to be positive for melanoma cells.  So a neck dissection is in order.  Google....no actually that can wait as I only got the news earlier today and it's late now.

So that's me up to date.  I'll try and be good and keep this current because even if it isn't read by anyone other than me, I've a feeling it will be theraputic to 'put it all out there'.  The whole process seems to affect those around me far more than me - I feel slightly detached from it all.  In fact, I actually feel fine which makes it all the more confusing.  Are these things normal?  Maybe you good people of Macmillan land can let me know?

One thing I do know for fact; I will be fit on the 20th of August come what may - it's the clubs first ever FA Cup tie and coincidentally mine too.  By my reckoning we're twelve games from Wembley, Come On You Shrews.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thanks to everyone for their support, it's most encouraging and restores one faith in human nature.

    Tiggs - I find Google almost as sadistic as Sister Jo (my skin cancer nurse).....almost but not quite!!

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thanks for this piece Stevie. Hopefully you found it therapeutic writing it, but I also found it helpful reading it. You may not realise this, but you're sort of speaking for everyone, your personal story sums our situation up in a nutshell. There we are enjoying life - so much to live for - and out of the blue this unexpected disease attacks, and suddenly our futures are threatened, and we're on a hospital conveyor belt of nasty medical procedures that we have to submit to for 'our own good', as your daughter puts it. Your resolutely comic tone actually underlines the tragic nature of the story.

    Keep writing, it'll help, but remember anyone can read what you write here, it's very public.

    Dee