Round2

Trying to cram the last 7 months in, so last left it at my Mums cancer we found out on results day after 7weeks of chemo and radio, that it has spread to her lymph nodes in her neck, so with all my friends asking me how results were and if it's good news, I just wanted to hide away. Mum went downhill she ended up moving in with us so she wasn't alone, one of the hardest things to see. So on the 29th of feb she had her operation, to have 37 lymph nodes removed from her neck, the op lasted about 7 hours, I can't really remember, she has the queen of scars on her neck, and the op effected a nerve to her mouth, and her shoulder, with all this going on my boyfriend of 2 and a half years booked a holiday to Thailand for us as a birthday present for me, we were due to go just days after the op, I have never felt so guilty about going away, just when she needs me, I'm swanning off to Thailand! She told me to go and not to worry about her, I hated leaving her in the hospital, I wasn't very impressed with the nurses to be honest, so they didn't help with the worry.2 weeks later I'm home and go straight to see mum, she has her results from the op... Out of 37 lymph nodes only 2 were cancerous,and they also did a biopsy of what was left from the tumour in her nose and it's dead! We finally had some good news for the first time in months, but they wanted her to have radiotherapy as a precaution. With her neck still healing, and trying to get used to her mouth and what she can eat she has 3 wisdom teeth removed, and within a week or so she starts radiotherapy, she is on her second week now, last week she phoned me saying someone she met whilst waiting for her radiotherapy, a man who was sat next to her, said to her he's not being rude he just can't speak because it hurts so much, I felt so sorry for him and the other people she had told me about, 1 week later my mum now like the other people that I felt so sorry for, in a matter of days she is in agony with her mouth, she can't speak, drink or eat. Today was the first time I've seen her with her mouth like this, I didn't know what to expect, it's my little brothers 4th birthday today so we had a party for him, but you could just feel all the emotion in the room, and all the pain mum is in, she told me she wants to give up, her last day of treatment is next Friday, she doesn't know how she is going to make it to next Friday and a few weeks after that no doubt on not eating or hardly drinking, I just feel so helpless as I dont know what to Do or say, she's going to speak to her doctor tomorrow and see what they say, and she's going to ask if she can stop! When I left we just cried to each other, it's been one of the hardest things seeing her the way she is now! :(