Thank you all for your condolences and sincere lovely P m's, replies to discussions and my blog posts they have been very welcome and a comfort to me and our girls. I shall be printing them off to paste in Peter's Condolence Book.
I washed Peters Face and cleaned his mouth at the hospital after he died and told him I would be back later to give him a proper wash and shave, I promised to bring him his teeth and dress him in some nice clean clothes.
Our eldest daughter went out to her car shortly after her Dad left and a sea gull chased her it tried to land on her head, she came back in to us and said
"Bloody hell I was expecting a white feather not the whole bird" and we all laughed saying That's just like Peter OTT.
We are now in Limbo as the coroner has so many dear ones to process Peter is in a queue of 14.therefor we have to wait.
So I thought today I would pop into the hospital mortuary and visit him , but when I rang to make an appointment the mortician said that while Peter is under the coroners care I cannot see him.:(
And I heard myself saying "oh! never mind is he ok"?
and the chap after a pause said "yes hes resting",
I said "could you just take the phone over so I can speak to him" ,again slight delay then he says" "Peter its your wife".
I told Peter over the phone all was well and I hadn't been in to wash him because of the coroner delay. but that I had arranged to meet him in Canterbury to get his body ready, as soon as I am allowed,I told him about the girls etc
and then the mortician came back on the line to ask if I had finished, I thanked him for his understanding and that was that ,
Now I am having visions of Peter seeing this carry on and saying
" I came home to get away from your constant chattering".
I think this aching grief has robbed me of any sense The poor chap must think Peter is married to a total la la.
We are o.k ish I cried the whole of the first night but only half of the second, and I have had a long very helpful telephone debrief with Macmillan tonight and it has helped me , I feel more at peace now.
Love to you all dear friends I truly hope this post does not upset anyone, I just need to record what is happening in our surreal world xx
