Standing on the Rooftops!!!

Hi Guys, This blog isn't really about me, it's about all of you! Where is she going with this you are wondering? Well I'm going to rewind 5 years BWN (before What Now). It has been a struggle from day one, trying to get your head around the fact that you have got cancer. The first time around though once I had finished my treatment I really believed I had it licked. Cancer free and get on with my life! Not so, the second time around it was completely different, this time it wasn't going away...now that sucked! I've never really been into the whole support group thing, I never really thought that I would benefit from it. I also thought that joining some support group meant that I wasn't coping and it meant I was officially in the "Cancer Club" and lets face it who wants to join that club? So being the idiot I am I have avoided such things for the past few years and muddled along on my own. It was only in the past year when I was so depressed that I was admitted to my local Hospice so they could try and help me that I realised, I needed help and support. I was already in the "Cancer Club" and had been for quite some time....time to suck it up sarah! So I have since then been going to my Hospice every Friday. I've met some amazing people, heard some fascinating stories and cultivated some everlasting friendships. However once a week is great, but what happens on the days when I'm not at the Hospice? What happens when I'm having a bad day and just need to speak to someone? What then...What now??? Exactly...What Now!!! I simply stumbled upon this site one evening at the beginning of February. I have since realised exactly what I have been missing out on. This site to me is a lifeline, to me it is a complimentary therapy because I come on here and I leave feeling tons better! I have chatted with some wonderful people on here, quite a few of which I now consider to be firm friends! Initially I came on here feeling down and somewhat alone. Yet after speaking to people on here, listening to what they say and taking on board the support they offer, I feel a lot calmer, more at peace. I can not even begin to express the positive effect this site has had on not just me but my family too. My hubby and my girls love the fact that I can just log on and chat to whomever is about, especially when I have those down days or anxious moments. I love that I can just blog what I'm feeling and get everything off my chest, what is even more amazing is that you guys take the time to read and even comment on my waffeling. There are a few people whom I really am grateful to, Liz and Jo...Liz your story mirrors mine so much, it really reminds me that I'm not alone in this and Jo, the love you have for your Sister knows no bounds, that love and support spills over to all of us who know you! I admire greatly our lovely Rose, someone who despite having a whole heap of her own troubles, always has a friendly ear for those who need it, someone who takes time to get to know you and never forgets when someone is having a test or is awaiting results, an inspiration you might say! My good friend Rick whom I love talking to, its good to be able to share our thoughts and feelings and know that someone is there for you, is thinking about you. My little grow bag Keith hehe! I could go on and on and on with names of those of you that have helped me in some way. I look forward to logging on, to reading other peoples experiences, to chat with friends and just to remember that I'm not alone. It's very humbling. I also find that for the past five years I have awoken each morning and there is that split second where you forget...life is good...then the world comes crashing around your ears and there it is...I have cancer, it always takes me a while to recover from that. I have to say that I still have that split second but when reality does hit, I tend to think..hmmmm wonder how such and such is today? Has so and so got their results? How is this friend managing today...it gives me a focus, takes the woe is me away and replaces it with thoughts of my friends on here and I'm so grateful for that. So I just really want to say thank you to all of you, those whom I chat to, those who just read my blogs. I would like to say to anyone new coming on to this site, it's brilliant and it's full of truely wonderful and inspirational people. So give it a go, come and say hello, you will be so glad you did...I know I am!! On a final note, I just want to share with you the lyrics from one of my favourite songs...says it all really! When our time is up, When our lives are done, Will we say, we've had our fun? Will we make a mark this time, Will we always say we tried? Standing on the rooftops, Everybody scream your heart out This is all we got now, Everybody scream your heart out All the love I've met, I have no regrets If it all ends now, I'm set Standing on the rooftops, Wait until the bombs drop This is all we got now, Scream until your heart stops Never gonna regret, Watching every sunset We'll, listen to your heartbeat All the love that we found!! I'm standing on that Rooftop and I'm screaming at the top of my lungs...I won't go out kicking and screaming...I will go out singing and dancing! Love always Indie xx