Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Ok so yesterday was 5 years since original diagnosis...........it sucked....my lovely hubby, daughter and friend did their very best to keep my mind off it but it was still very stressful. It was even more stressful knowing I still had to go and see my oncologist today for my liver & echo scan results.
So.....all I wanted to do last night was come in the chat room and talk to my lovely friends...........guess what...couldnt even get on the site.......grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, missed celebrating with Liz....soz hon! Stupid internet server thingy me bob!
Anyhow...took my usual stressy nervous sickly pre oncology appointment self to the hospital and when I got in to see my lovely Oncologist he was very apologetic...the radiographers had not reported back on my liver scan yet...so basically a wasted journey and am still left in limbo-land until I get the call from Dr Newman explaining my scan results....so I am stressed to say the least.
I hate statistics....I hate wasted appointments....I hate that my friend is stopping chemo....I hate that I have seen friends diagnosed, go through treatment and pass away while I have managed to fight on....I hate that my girls are suffering....I hate that my hubby has to "take care of me"......I hate feeling hatred because it is a wasted emotion...but this is what cancer does to you...so I hate cancer!!!!!!!
