Hi Everyone.
I am in the process of getting tested to discover the extent of my bowel cancer and possible spread. I thought those coming after me may benefit from my experiences/feelings of this first period before the action really starts.
Like many by the time I went for medical help I had put my syumptoms down to everything else I could think of including the siting of a computer switch junction in my office, despite having a family history that said when not if. Stupid I know. I went for a colonoscopy and having viewed videos on you tube previously spotted the beastie immediately. When the Dr confirmed my thoughts all I could think of was getting to my husband and how to tell him. He has never been good with illness and hospitals it frightens him. So my thoughts were all for him. I apologised to my 2 sons 2 days later about this. I feel guilt that I left things so long and am therefore causing them more pain and worry than may have been the case.
Since then I have had a CT and MRI and at clinic they seemed very upbeat although a PET scan was asked for re: spread. I have had this and go back on the 15th Feb for what is I hope the upshot and to get a way forward whatever that may be. In the meantime I have been fine mentally ( I think) with only minor moments. I have even got irate at one stage with no progress when I realised a calender month had passed with only the CT scan having hapened. Made the mistake in my irritation of seeing a locum Dr at my GP's who must have missed any training on dealing with patients with Cancer at any stage as he was a blithering idiot who could have easily sent me over the edge. Thankfully my usual GP is marvellous.
What has been useful so far is the following. Getting pain medication from my GP and the recent addition of daily movicol has given me a new lease of life as I can now eat normally except for red meat. Other than that a normal diet passes without problems. previously the pain and blood loss on passing was excruciating. the co-codomol has suffciently controlled the frequency and the movicol easing things means I am practically back to normal. the side effects of this are eating normally, sleeping better and feeling stronger everyday. the other wonder thing is a heat pad. Does it lessen the pain I don't know but it certainly comforts. I am now on my 2nd having worn out the first. I wished I had thought to get the pain meds and movicol when first diagnosed. this is why I have written this blog.
When first diagnosed I think you get full of adrenelin and want progress now and this is frustrating and worrying when things take time. The other difficulkty is telling loved ones. I spoke to my family and was so worn out that for friends I posted on facebook. Even I thought that was weird but it worked as my oldest friends were on the phone within minutes alerted by their children. It got me out of ringing and saying Hi, hows things, bloody weather and by the way.... I felt I was looking for sympathy. I am delighted that bar 1 exception all have been great. Only a cousin has fled from me whilst letting me know through his mother my aunt that I can call him anytime middle of the night etc. Why when he lives 250 miles away and when I travelled there this weekend found important (not) things to do to avoid seeing me. That has hurt but he is the only one and I know him to be weak emotionally.
Don't be afraid to tell anyone the situation you are in. Most people are very supportive. I have been helped in the super market when I got over tired and get help moving or packing things that are too heavy. My heating packed up in the snow and I didn't tell the plumber he overheard me talking on the phone saying how the cold made me worse. He got me sorted as soon as he could. So there is real help out there it is up to us to use it as best we can without taking advantage of course.
So any new sufferers out there I hope this helps esp the practical tips and I am sure others will also contribute with their thoughts and tips. I look forward to picking up more myself.
Lastly. Keep well and as positive as possible see the laugh where you can and ask for what you need.
