After chemo

So let me take a moment to explain why my blogs are short, before bc I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis and fibromyalgia, so typing or writing for a long period is difficult as my fingers tend to cramp up. So little and often it is, anyway too much of a good thing is bad for you!

After chemo I went back to see the breast surgeon and had a wobble (melt down) as my her tumour was growing and by now I couldn't even fit my hand around/across it, moving my arm up even just to drink my coffee rubbed the lump and hurts it. She said "do you just want me to have a look" yes I bloody did as nobody has looked at it despite my protests. She took one look and said "oh that explains why it hurts, you have inflammatory breast cancer". 

Well bugger! Another term I didn't understand and as much as I know I shouldn't Google I did, I then sat in the car crying for half an hour because Google was so mean and had terrible survival odds as the first thing it shows you! (I will never Google again!). 

Anyway she books an urgent pet-ct scan to get a better look but estimated that what was originally about the size of a 50p piece is now bigger than my fist. Has put for urgent surgery, with another surgeon, because she is worried the skin might actually split. 

So now we wait, I think that word is worse than cancer, wait is the most hardest, gut wrenching, Satan inspired thing ever. But we still wait.