I still don't get the peaceful death thing...

Hilsey,i am 1 of seven children, and the

only one i think that believed in an After

life. When my mother passed away i

used to lie in bed fully expecting her to

visit me, and i was so disappointed when

this did not happen.A year after my mum

died i was still finding it hard to come to

terms with her death and also upset that

i had not had a sign from her. anyway

i went to see this spiritualist, she told me

that i was upset about my mother not

giving me a sign that she wasn't far

away. This lady asked me if there was

a wall plug in my front room hanging off the wall, i had only been in that house

for a year, it was a new built house, i

was the first owner, and yes there was a

a wall plug that was hanging out of the wall, but how did she know that and what

an odd question.she said that it was a message from my mother to let me know

that she was near me, and that she was

happy, she said i had to move on and

live my life, and she would always be close.Now Hilsey some may take this

with a pinch of salt, but i want to believe

my mum is near, it gives me comfort,and i hope it may give you comfort to know

that your GLENN is looking after you and

when the time is right for him , he will give

you a sign. I have cared for the terminal

ill for many years and i have witnessed

many things that have amazed me,and

made me think very deeply about what

happens after death, not a subject i want

to go into here, after all people here are

fighting this demon cancer to live there

lives, and that's all that matters.

Sorry if i have gone on a bit, but what

happend to me hand on heart is true,if

some what odd. You and Glenn have

so many lovely memories, i hope thy help

you in your sorrow.

   Love Lucy Lee.

ps. pm me anytime if you feel lonely,

or if you just want to chat. xxxx

Angela CJ,

gosh, your post made me laugh and cry a bit at the same time....so real life and down to earth - thank you!

I need to hear things like this it's very grounding and at a time when we are looking for signs we're not really getting on with the everyday stuff that gets us through this awful time.  

I think of this time as "swimming through mollasses" - you know, a thick syrupy atmosphere that makes the simplest of things like opening the post a major job in the day, the tears just never seem to stop. .    

What makes it a bit easier is that Glenn did think about sorting the paperwork things out.  

Which is great but hey, you'd think the fucker could at least flash a light from the other side!

much love

hilsey

x

Thanks Lucy Lee - I have heard from some spiritual people that Glenn is also hurting and grieving and missing us.  Us being me and our 2 dogs (standard poodles) and a much loved cat.  We are all breaking our hearts here and miss him so much every day but appreciate he is missing us too.

And that it could take upto a year before he can get in touch, as it were, because of his own grief.

In the meantime, life without him is just horrible, I hate it so much.  I miss my best friend and husband more each day.

hils

x

When my mother passed away, she had a lot of animals.  One of them was a NASTY Conjure Parrot.  When she got it she told my husband and I the lived 70 years and we would have to take it when she passed.  (Before she knew she would with cancer.)  My husband's response was "Chris, I got news for you, I don't think we'll live 70 years!"  We would all laugh.  Over time the parrot became mean to all but her.  I love animals, but this little guy tormented me when she wasn't looking and she never believed me until it drew blood dripping from my finger.  When we knew she was terminal, I told her, "I'm not taking the damn bird!"  We had humor by this time in the nightmare of it all.  So as she was nearing her death at my home, my nephew called.  He was all stressed out and I could hear him on the phone telling the bird to "stop it, ouch!"  He wanted to talk with his Mom. I put her on the phone... shortly after she walks into my mother's room and whispers with total astonishment, "The bird just died!"  I grab her to sit down next to me and say, "Lynn, don't leave."  My mother took her last breath moments later.  When my sister got back to the house, she called me and said, there was nothing wrong with the bird (she knew about such things).  She said he looked completely healthy.  She had a necropsy done with one of her Vet friends and he too said, "It's a mystery!"  My sister and I looked at each other and burst into peels of laughter, "She took that DAMN bird with her!"  

The other really bizarre thing that happened, was she always had all her makeup in a makeup "box" that she kept with her.  She called it "her face".  The morning after she died my sister went rummaging through her room looking for it.  She asked me where it was.  I told her exactly where it was.  It wasn't there.  We have NEVER found it.  So we have surmised she took that too!

Lori

dear hillsey

i came across ur 1st post and loved it - fuck all is just about what we do at the moment OH is disagnosed with NSCLC  in left lung ( 27% capacity left after radioltherapy) and COPD in right lung ( 47%)

His prognosis is 6-9 months ( up this month) but apart from limited mobility ,tiredness,interupted sleep pattern and breathlessness on exertion ( sounds bad but when i read some of these posts )hes doing ok so far!

I am agnostic ( always hopeful I feel)  but I did light a candle our city centre church and just ask 'whoever' not to let him be in pain .I am aware that this disease IS painful .But there is always hope I feel .As for afterwards - I , like ee cummings ,will carry him in my heart .

Habubrat - I loved your memory - fantastic ! thank you for making me smile - wonderf ul!