13/30

Sounds like you need something more substantial to kick than leaves today Zebady!  

I recognise some of where you are right now and it really isn't a nice place at all. Now isn't the time to tell you things will improve, now is the time to just send you a huge hug, a squeeze of your hand and let you get it all out and listen and empathise. Cancer is crap, the side effects of treatment are crap, and watching someone you love try and cope with everything is total crap.

Love Hiloa x

Hello Zebady ... yes it's a terrible journey for your hubby, especially the radiotherapy ( it seems a strange word as I thought it quite a barbaric treatment, rather than a ' therapy ' which suggests something gentler ) On my last zapping I did ask the Radiologist ' why don't they tell you what it's going to be like ' ... her response was that if we knew then no one would get on the table. Too right !

So I can empathise with both yourself and your hubby ... I was also given instructions about this, that and the other which went completely over my head. Luckily my hubby was able to take some of it in and try to help me with the various mouth rinses and so forth, sadly I was a terrible patient and often refused to cooperate due to the pain.

I recall just retreating to the bedroom for my tube feeds and sleep ... aided by copious amounts of Oramorph, it seemed to be a good escape from it all. So try not to fret about getting everything done, it will happen in it's own time ... even though at the moment it may seem like it never will. Unless someone has been there and got the tee-shirt they haven't a clue what it's like and how we feel, even my dietician admitted to that.

Just try and take heart in that it will eventually get better ... sending you some strength and hugs.

Joycee x

Hi just wanted t  say as the wife of my husband who has gone through this  horrendous treatment twice , I really do feel for you both , its a nightmare and it would be great iff we could switch our thoughts off the what iffs ect. I often want to pop the bubble and escape , its a roller coaster I dont want to be on , also my husband and I dont talk much as he has no energy and like Josie did escapes to the bedroom for feeds ect . I know things will get better from our last experience , and they will for you , but it is so hard , one tip for all the routines I wrote out a daily plan and we ticked them off through out the day , as he would not remember if he had his pain killers . Another tip to help and be prepared for constipation if he has certain meds as the first time it was a huge problem but we were prepared second time .

You have every right to feel angry frustrated upset tearful , this disease is evil and trys to destroy people . 

Sending positive vibes and a huge hug, nothing can prepare you for this.

julial 

Hello Zebady.  Sending you a big hug.  I remember at a similar stage in my treatment that there just were not enough hours in the day, and so much to remember.  I used to do a daily schedule which had everything on it, all the feeds, tablets, creams, mouthwashes etc.  The thing I used to struggle with was my fluid intake.  I never felt very thirsty and the long car journeys were always at the back of the mind.  I started getting dehydrated and then constipation set in which meant yet more medication.  It's a rotten time and it's not fair.  Stay strong and hang on in there.  x