Promises promises!

Less than one minute read time.

22 Jun 2015

I've been promising myself for almost two years now that I'd start a blog tomorrow.

Well, today's the day! I'm not going to write too much now but at least I've made a start! I read earlier that one of my friends from the Living with Incurable Cancer Group had died on Saturday morning, she was called Jane and her username was Dyad. Eamonn, Russell, Jane and myself had joined the Macaite around the same time and although we never actually met, it felt as if we had been friends all our lives. With Jane's passing, I'm the last of the four Night owls! It feels lonely this morning and in a way I feel very guilty for still being here but also so very very lucky.

I will write again soon but for now, I will close and think of what I should write about next time, now that I've started!

FormerMember over 9 years ago

Don't ever feel guilty about still being here hun. Jane was also one of my cyber friends, and gave me lots of support over the two years I knew her. She, and I'm sure the others, would not want you to feel anything other than 'kick the beast into touch' and give it hell !!! We all cope and get by the best way we can. I look forward to your next blog xxx
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anndanv over 9 years ago

Well, it's been a while and I'm still on this roller coaster thankfully. I've been in hospital with cellulitis for a week getting IV antibiotics, then a week oral ones when I came home. Since getting home I have had the cold and it has just floored me! Wouldn't you think they'd have come up with something in this day and age to help the common cold! It's been eight days now and there is no sign of it lifting, I just feel shattered most of the time and feeling miserable as I haven't seen my grandchildren since getting home, as I don't want to pass the cold onto them, so as a result, have not seen them for over two weeks!

I can't quite understand how I manage to cope with cancer but find it hard to cope with my nose and eyes running all the time, plus the sneezing etc, it has just all got me down. I need to give myself a shake but I think my get up and go, got up and left! I should be excited about still being here for another Christmas and all the festivities but at the moment, it's just a bit all too much. I really don't want my family to know how bad I feel atm but thought if I write it down, it might make feel better. I do so hope it works.

My hair seems permanently wet with the sweats and chills I'm now getting from the drug, even although it has been reduced slightly. I'm hoping I can last it out until January when we are hoping to go to Spain for three weeks to get away from the winter. We have been going away for almost fifteen years now and when I was dx in July 13 I'm sure it was the thought of going away in the January that kept me going and kept me sain! No one but me thought I'd make it in 2014 but they did believe me when I said we were going 2015! I just hope I can get passed this tough time and look forward to going away Jan 16!

I had intended writing here on a regular basis when I wrote for the first time in June but somehow life just takes over and it takes me all my time to keep up with my friends in the "living with incurable cancer" group, so I have no time left to put my thoughts down. Maybe the next time I write I won't be feeling so sorry for myself and it will inspire me to write positive thoughts, which I do have often! X
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