Am I doing a bad job coping with losing Dad?

Hi Littlelis

I am so sorry that this has happened and that you have lost your dad whom you so obviously loved dearly.

Grief is a totally individual thing and experience, we all grieve at different rates and timescales.  There are so many factors that influence how we grieve from the relationship we had with the deceased person to our own state of mind at the time when that person passed away, to the circumstances of that sad occasion.  There is no formula nor is there a set time scale for grief.  I am astounded to read that a mere five days has passed and already the possible need for 'outside help' is being suggested, if you were still feeling this intense level of grief in say 2 yrs time then maybe ..........!  Please dont allow others to put yet more pressure on you to control and suppress your feelings, these strong emotions need to be 'worked through' if not now then at some point in the future.

Grief does have various stages that people move through and again this is individual, anger and tearfullness being only two of the various emotions experienced during this sad time.

please allow yourself to grieve at your own pace and in the way you need to.

So sorry to hear of your loss.

Everyone deals with it different but i can still clearly remember losing Dad back in 1994, mainly because i had just told him we were expecting a child & he never got to meet my daughter.

I still feel for Mum whenever theres an anniversary of theires wether its Dads birthday or wedding anniversary.

I concentrate on the good times we had together, especially when i was young.

As already stated there is no set time to grieve.

Take care xx

Hello sweetheatheart, I can feel the pain you're feeling and can tell you we are all differant and how we cope with such a loss of someone we really love. I adored my dad and when he passed away it was only 6 wks after my husbands father passed away so had a double whammy. You will always feel a huge loss and there will be times when you will cry there will also as time passes when you will laugh when you think of him and remember your special dad. sending you a big hug and lots love. Vee.xxx

Thank you folks for the comfort and support, just still don't know how to stop bursting into tears, was reminded of a song Dad loved yesterday that Mum wants at the funeral and I just keep crying every time i think of it because I'd forgotten about it - thanks for helping me know what I'm going through is not just me  xx

Be kind to yourself.  One day at a time, at your own pace.

And certain songs, places, tv programmes, in fact all sorts of things will still be able to bring a tear for many years to come - and that is because you love him so much.

Judi x