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Hello readers. I'm a new user so please forgive me if I'm not using the site as it is intended. I will learn. My Mom was re diagnosed as having cancer again in November last year. It's a secondary cancer and it's terminal. It's in her spine and her lymph nodes. I don't really have any form of an outlet. I've tried to normalise the topic of cancer within my family and feel my mom feels as though she can speak to me about it however she wants, when ever she wants. I don't ever want her to feel as though she can't speak to anyone, she has enough going on without being able to vent. But I feel as though nobody seems to know what to say or do when comes to talking to me other than Mom. Everybody is very sympathetic but I don't feel that's what I need. If I try to talk about the possibilities of what could happen in the future I get told not to think like that. Be positive. Nobody knows what's going to happen. But people don't seem to understand that I feel that I should prepared for the worst of and when it does come. I'm in a very difficult frame of mind right now and I know that it could well be down to my perception and how I'm reacting to what people say and do. A woman asked me was my mom unwell the other day. I confirmed this. She said 'Oh dear, my mom died of cancer too. She had it in her brain. She used to awful siezures. She had an awful death.' - Now I know that this person meant well, but I couldn't help but think what had made that woman think that that would have been of some comfort to me. I guess I'm contradicting myself on saying I want to be prepared for the worst, but when I hear what could happen it frightens and upset me. I have absolutely no idea how should be reacting. There's nothing to compare to or learn from. You only have one mom and you can only go through the process if losing her once. I'm not entirely sure what advice I'm looking for to be honest. I'm thinking maybe I want to vent and complain until I reach a place of understanding in my mind.