Hi Folks
Had first chemo on Wed was really scared but turned out to be not too bad[the process itself] felt sick and was in bed by 7.30 on wed evening slept fitfully with hot flushes and a bucket by the side of the bed [overkill i know but was worried].Iwasnt sick but didn't get up till 12.00 next day and then i got a second wind wrote and posted cards and even went for an icecream in our local icecream parlour thought i had got away with it til today sat on settee all day watchin telly hubby went to do some shoppin so i took dog out and fed my horse and my chickens and have been sat down ever since .Thinks am goin to have to alter my way of life drastically i know i am probably no different from others but its suddenly dawned on me this is my life til may [providing there are no hiccups] sorry for moaning had to get it out
teresa x
FormerMember
Hi tilly thanks for the advice i think i will keep a diary as i am havin good days and bad days managed to get out to my horse bout 1pm today [keep him at home] and he looked at me as if i were daft feeding him at that time [am wintering him out] my hubby had managed to ealk the dog this morning before work but she got two more walks before the day was out am now drooping but body is tired but mind active am not sleeping due to gettin up for a wee every two hours hope that stops. Is anyone else grumpy with people when they just want to be left alone feel bad cos i snapped at my mum on the phone today cos she said i'm sure you will feel better tomorrow i just wanted to scream. i know what u mean about normality animals don't answer back and are just glad to see u even if it is 1pm and u usually get your feed at 8.30amlol
So glad you got out on your horse. Charma winters out too and thrives really well. When we had the bad weather recently and we were "iced in" she had to stay in her stable for a week as it was just too icy to get to the field - she wasn't impressed. She waits at the gate at 4 pm which is tea time and knows which is my car coming along the farm drive so she starts calling me to tell me to hurry up with her tea. She really knew when I was weak and tired during chemo and behaved perfectly. She now thinks I'm b ack to normal so she can misbehave when she wants to altho generally she is a good girl. I don't sleep well either - the hot flushes are a feature of the tamoxifen. I also get quite angry with people around me which isn't the normal me. I think it's the frustration of it all. People don't realise (they couldn't possibly) how you feel . They are trying to help when they say you'll be better tomorrow - don't WE all know that it's not that simple - it's not a bad cold. I have friends who express surprise whn I say I'm tired when really I mean I'm bone achingly kna........ered. People assume that once you've had theop and the chemo that all is well - well it's not. That's the brill thing about this site - people who know EXACTLY what you mean and can understand your feelings. You may find that you get a bit weaker with each session but once the chemo stops you pick up especially if you are a fit horserider to start with!!!!!! My consultant told me it stays in your body for a year - it sounds an age but mine finsihed a year ago this week . Do take care riding - my consultant was a bit concerned when I asked if it was ok to ride even though I had been for ages. She realised there was no arguing with me but said I musn't fall off as could bleed quite badly . She said the same about going out on hubby's motorbike!!!!!!!! I think she found me quite a challenge but hey ho . Take care and give your horse a cuddle from me x
