Hi Mummy
Oh God I know I only seem to write to you when I'm feeling low and I dont write to you when things are going well but God I could do with a cuddle from you right now. Everything is going to pot, Baz is texting me all the time which scares me somewhat because I get the impression he wants to come back but I don't want him back and I don't want to be in a put position where I have to hurt him. I know that by not telling me the truth about how he was feeling hurt and upset me but Im not the sort of the person that can set out to hurt another person. As much as I love Cora, I dread bedtime and meal times. We seem to be going backwards or at least she is just for me. She eats well with anyone else but me, she sleeps fine when she is with Baz over night but me??? I have to fight with her to get her to eat and bedtime is just screaming from her. If that wasn't bad enough every day I then get to have about 2 hours maximum of sleep on my own in my own bed before Cora comes toddling into my bedroom and then spends the rest of the night in my bed. I'm constantly exhausted and have so little energy that all I want to do is curl up and go to sleep in the middle of the afternoon. Then as if to top off all those little niggles I now have to have another talk with Daddy about things. Man and Pop don't want o come and down see us because they dont feel comfortable staying with Daddy and Alison. I opened my birthday present early from them and I got a f***ing hand towel and a pair of pyjama bottoms not even a top to go with them. BUT out of all that the thing that has really ticked me off is that they are away on holiday on a cruise on my birthday and come back late at night on my birthday. So I potentially get to spend my birthday on my own with no presents. I'm not as it turns out because Jo is taking me out for lunch but they make such a big fricking deal about Anne and Kirsty's birthday but I get ignored. Mummy I hate this, can you please come back?!?!?!?!? It feels like you were the only one that really and truly understood me and I'm here on my own, feeling like I don't matter. Mummy I really miss you and when I need advice or help your's has been the only oppinion I have ever trusted. It's so unfair you were taken from us and so unfair Cora never got to know how great and fun you were. I want you back and I want you back every day that never stops. I love you. Xxxxxxx
