Didn't realise it had been nearly 3 years since I was last on here

Hi Mummy Sorry it's been a very long while, I have spoken to you in my times of need, don't know if you have heard me but I like to think you can hear me and your watching us grow and change. So what's new with me? Well I fell pregnant back in April/May 2010 and had a beautiful baby girl who we called Cora Nicola Kingsley Mann. There were a few discussions about her middle names but I got my own way as usual hahaha. I went through my pregnancy on my own as Baz was away for most of my pregnancy and came back about a month before Cora was born. Things stated getting better then they slowly got worse, Daddy married Alison that was a period of adjustment and not an easy one for me anyway. Baz and I started having problems around Christmas in 2011 and just before Cora's 1st birthday he left we have tried a couple of times this year (2012) to make it work but it just hasn't worked out so we are now permanently separated and I'm bringing up Cora up on my own but it's such a joy when she is good which is most of the time. Baz and I have remained good friends which is good for Cora, as she is both our number 1 priority and we both agree on the same things on how to bring her up too. Daddy and Alison think it's odd although they havnt said as much but I don't give a monkeys. Anyway, had a few concerning symptoms with my breast so I'm off for those tests on those on Tuesday Baz is coming with me so I don't have to worry about Cora and I want Cora there as her cuddles are just simply amazing and I can be having the crappest day and her cuddles make everything better. She is my princess and I call her princess although I do worry that by calling her that I am leading myself into having a spoilt child. How have you been my wonderful Mummy? Still think about you every day and I am starting to tell Cora bits about you now as she starts to understand more now. Anyway you are and will always remain very special to me and noone can take your place just wish Cora could met have you and you could have met Cora, I think you would be besotted with her. I'm trying not to worry about my tests on Tuesday but I can't help it. Baz noticed a change just through my t-shirt on my left breast today when he came to take Cora for a couple of hours today. I don't think that's a good sign :-). I should think about going to bed but I do t really want to as there is no distraction when Im in bed. I still love you everso much and miss you just as much. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxc