Could I have caught this earlier? I can’t help asking the question. Were there signs and symptoms that I missed? I’ve always trusted my body to know what it’s doing. I didn’t get freaked out by menopause. Changes are what we women live with - hormone cycles, pregnancies, menopause. So when I started having slight discharge at the age of 64, I didn’t pay it much attention. Just another change, I thought. But then I developed a heavier watery discharge. Doctor Google kept saying it was normal. If there’s no odor or color to it, it’s nothing to worry about. And then I woke up to a small amount of blood on my sheets. That did worry me and I called my GP surgery, but with Covid 19 protocols, I was out of luck. Same day phone consultations only on a first come basis. It took two days to get to speak to a doctor, who said come in immediately. She confirmed that there was a lot of blood and took a smear swab. And she referred me to the Post Menopausal Bleeding Clinic. She mentioned cancer and said in 9 out of 10 cases it turns out to be nothing. It’s probably vaginal atrophy, she said. But I can tell the difference between bleeding from a vaginal tear and an unusual bloody discharge from the uterus. I’m sure most women can. So I was not reassured. And I was terrified when she said the PMB clinic would take a biopsy by pushing a tube through the cervix and suctioning out a sample of the lining. Take some ibuprofen before you go, she said. I panicked.
In my panic and turmoil, I paid a lot of money for an appointment with a private consultant. If I had to have a biopsy, I wanted it under general anesthetic. I have never been in hospital, I’ve never had surgery, I’m terrified of all types of pain, surgical instruments, hospitals in general. The consultant was a truly lovely man. And he said it’s probably nothing. Of the 1 in 10 women from the PMB who do have endometrial cancer, 9 out of 10 of those are obese he said. You are slim and fit, he said, it’s probably vaginal atrophy where the skin tears easily. But I knew it wasn’t that.
I went for my vaginal scan a few days later. They said that if the endometrium is more than 4mm thick, they do a biopsy. The nurse said your womb is pretty solid, it looks like cancer. Pretty solid! She tried to persuade me to have the instant biopsy but I couldn’t do it. You’ll get a period type cramping she said, for about 20 minutes. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t do it.
