Hi all!
i know i have been a bit of a no-show lately. to be honest i've been trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life!
i tried running away, but that was only temporary so now i am back, with no job, no mum and no idea what the hell i'm gonna do!
i have been looking into college courses and also have updated my cv to see what pops up but as soon as an offer of an interview comes through i panic and crawl back into myself! if anyone can tell me what that means then i'm happy to hear it.
now i not only cry for my mum but for my future because it seems so uncertain. it has been 5 months since my mum passed away and in that time i feel i have achieved nothing. anyway just thought i'd keep you all updated
xxxx
FormerMember
Helen
How long did you run away for? Would your old employer take you back? Phone Human Resources and ask. The worst that can happen would be for them to say No.
5 months is no time to get over your mother's death. No wonder you are panicking. (I went for an interview yesterday and I always panic in interviews.) It will be a year before you begin to feel normal, and probably 2 years before you can say you are over the loss. In the meantime, are you content to carry on with the career plans that you had before, or do you want to look around for something else? If you aren't sure, why not enrol in the autumn to study a new language? It will always be useful whatever career you want, and if it was to be an interpreter, I'm sorry for such a facile suggestion.
You could try going to an agency to find you a job. They would at least if they are any good, give you some useful advice on how to cope with interviews, or they might suggest you do temporary work until you find an employer you like. They are used to dealing with people who don't have confidence, especially someone with a very good reason, like you.
You do need immediate security, and freedom from having to make premature decisions. You are not at this time in any condition to make any major decision properly. It is all part of the bereavement process and it's perfectly normal. You haven't lost an acquaintance, but the most important person in your life. I coped with my father's death within a couple of months, but my mother's death was much more difficult to cope with.
Don't worry about the future, it will come along anyway. Try and give yourself time to decide what to do, by doing something simple that will keep body and soul together. Preferably something you have done in the past. I wouldn't do something where I had to face the public, but getting involved in other people's lives might help you. Study something you know will be useful whatever you do in the end.
Be easy on yourself. If you need to run away, arrange some leave and decide when you are coming back.
Keep in touch and if we can help, we will do so. If you are ever in Birmingham, I will meet you for a coffee and a long chat - as long as you want. I think that applies to people here all over the country. Just send me a Personal message and we can make arrangements. (Somewhere near the Police Station if you are nervous.)
Hello lovely - long time no hear! Helen it sounds as though you want to rejoin the real world!?! Can I remind you of some of the benefits; new friends new opportunities, daily routine, money, and self confidence boost (when you have a new job). College could be good for you - plenty of mature students around and learning can be such fun - if you pick the right course. My job was careers adviser! - but I cant really advise you via a blog! lol Perhaps you could try phoning your local careers service as you may be entitled to a free adult interview!?! Do you have a Connexions service where you live - if yes ring them - they can put you in touch with the Adult careers service in your area. !! Perhaps what you need is to research what you would like to do - then the interview bit will be easier when you have a clearer direction. Some qualified advice at this point would probably be invaluable. Best wshes - PM me anytime if I can help I will! Love Jools x x x
It is still so early, just 5 months is no time at all. My heart bleeds for you as I know just how you are feeling.
It has been a year since I lost my hubby and although I am coping well in some ways, I also feel like a boat with no rudder. All my dear friends keep suggesting things but I just say "no, cant do that".
I will never get over losing Andrew, I dont want to really, but I know I will find a way to live with it. But grieving is a very personal thing and we all deal with it in different ways. I do what I can to raise money for the hospice that were so wonderful to the both of us. This I find gives me a sense of being and a connection to Andrew.
You will find a way to move forward, taking all your wonderful memories of your dear mum with you. But It may take a long time yet.
Lovely to hear from you - but not that you are still feeling so apathetic about Life. As Debbie says, five months is a short time, especially if you are the one left with all the loose ends to tie up, so I'm not surprised you still feel emotionally low.
Everyone is being very positive about job opportunities, but i think it depends a little bit on where you live, as a lot of places are struggling at the moment, and you don't want to end up in something without a good, exciting future.
I have to say that several times in my life, when I have had difficulties, I have done voluntary work for a while. It gives one a great sense of actually being useful at a time when you may be suffering from low self-esteem. You meet some fantastic people - and other people with problems so that you suddenly aren't the only one struggling whilst everyone else around you seems to be soaring up and away! I also found that it pointed the way to career change and to exciting jobs. It's good to give, and you very often find that you end up unexpectedly receiving too!
Please let us know how you are getting on Helen, and look after yourself. Lots of love xxx Penny
