Hi I am new here.....

I recently lost my dad to cancer and I think no matter how much you prepare you never actally expect it. There are so many ups and downs and at least with my dad, the last bit all happens so quickly.

I have lost other family members in the past - although not through cancer. But which ever way a loved one is taken from us if it happens quickly or before you are ready it can leave a gaping hole which is very hard to deal with.

When I lost my grandad it was 4 years later that I started to grieve. you try explaining to people what you are going through and they jsut don't understand. you are supposed to grieve for a while after then just get on with life - only things don't work like that.

Don't be too hard on yourself. you were there when your mum needed you and she probably only kept things from you to protect you. My dad tried to do the same to me. They seem to forget that things have a habit of coming out in the end!!

Take comfort in knowing that people on this sight understand what you are going through and there will always be someone to lending an ear, or just blog and pour your heart out. you will feel much better for it!!

Take care,

Vikki

Hi Silver,

Welcome to the site nobody wants to join. The day will come when you will be able to share your words

with anybody on the site. Grieving is a long hard process. But gradually the pain will start to ease. When it does you will be able to open up more. You

Look after yourself.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

Hi silver - you've taken a big step by starting to talk about your loss, so well done. There are many in the same situation as you on this site, from the very recently bereaved, to those who still need support after several years. There's no right or wrong way to feel. I lost my dear step dad a few months ago to cancer, and what I didn't expect was the re-emergence of emotions buried almost 27 years ago when my own dad died! All I can advise is keep sharing, you'll be comforted by the realisation that you are not alone in your grief. Love Val X