A month ago my mum was diagnosed with cancer in her kidney. She made out to me like everything was going to be alright. They would just remove the kidney.
Then yesterday she dropped the bombshell that the cancer is too far developed and has reached into her lungs and there is not much more they can do for her. They're not sure how long she has to live.
Is there really nothing they can do? Can't they cut the cancer out and give her a transplant or something? There must be something they can do. No-one understands what I'm going through. I'm an only child and my friends said they cannot even imagine what I am going through. I even feel resentful towards them. Their mums are healthy and will most likely have their mums for 30 years or more. Why is mine being taken from me now?
I feel like killing myself. I'm 22 and even though I have 2 young children of my own, my mum helps me a lot with them and I cannot bear the thought of life without her - I don't want to. I can't face the fact that I'm going to watch her die and I'll never ever see her again. I just can't - I need my mum.
I've been diagnosed with post-ntal depression but wasn't given anti-depressents as I'm breastfeeding. Instead I was referred to see a counsellor which hasn't helped one bit and the fact I'm going to lose my mum has just made me feel my life isn't worth living at all.
I don't even know what kind of cancer to say my mum has. She has a tumour on her kidney but she said it has spread around her groin and up into her lungs. Surely the doctors can do more, I hear about people recovering from cancer all the time, so why isn't there much they can do for my mum?
FormerMember
Hi Hayley
I too am losing my Mum, I'm 41 so older than you but I still feel I've got a lot of life to live without her and I don't know how. I have 3 little boys and I know how torn you feel between looking after your children and caring for your mum. In the end though, I think it's easier for me, surrounded by the love and cuddles from my little ones than it is for my sister whose kids have left home. One thing I do wish is that I'd done more of the normal things with her while she was well enough like going for a coffee or a meal out. Now she's just too poorly. So pack those things in while you can and try not to get upset because you'll spoil the memory for yourself.
Just to let eveyone know, the hospital gave my mum Inferon which she started to inject herself 3 times a week and they said she must carry on taking it for life. Only last Wednesday when she went in for a check-up, the hospital admitted her because she was bleeding heavily and was passing clots from the urine channel. They have given her several scans but could not find where the bleeding was coming from.
Today they said there is also a problem with her liver! I've been seeing her everyday but it's hard with my two children, especially my 3 year old who keeps wanting to run up and down the hospital and I have no-one who is willing to watch them for me. Now there's something with her liver, it's like problem after problem.
Could anyone tell me please, if anyone knows, if there is an option where the hospital can cut the tumor off from the kidney so it can stop feeding the tumor? She cannot have the kidney removed as her other kidney is leaking chromosones and her cancer has spread to both lungs also. I've been trying to look up what other options there are to shrink or stop this kind of tumor growing but to no avail. Thank you xxx
You're certainly going through the mill here. I know we will all sympathise with you.
Regarding your point about whether the tumour can be cut, there's only one thing that I'd add.
The doctors generally assume that patients only want a little reassurance (if you're lucky) and a few basic facts. At least, this is my experience from having lived in hospitals for much of the last 18 months. So, if you're after a full blow-by-blow account of the likely prognosis and possible treatments I'd make an appointment so that these can be discussed when the consultants have the time to do this. I get the sense that most think they're 'protecting' the patient with their need-to-know attitude. I'm afraid that no-one would really be in a position to offer medical opinion on here that would even closely reflect your question. Sorry about that .. so, please make that appointment - it's your right, if you so wish.
In the meantime, I wish you well and keep posting!
