I have started this blog on here, because although I will not be 100% certain that I have pancreatic cancer as ithe tumour cannot be tested until it has been removed completely. To do this I am scheduled for a Whipple's prcedure on the 5th of March.
I am pretty sure that's what I have, my instincts have never let me down yet. I felt more ill not knowing as the first hospital I went to would not commit themselves even to an opinion.
My symptons started in December on the 15th 2012. I had really bad diarrhoea, also my urine was very dark, even more worrying, I started to lose weight at a rate of 1lb evert 1 or 2 days. Normally I would have struggled to lose anything let alone a lb every day or so. Not only that but on the 30th December on a Sunday, (Why do these emergencies arise at the weekend or public holidays?) my husband commented on the fact that I was looking extremely yellow. I chacked the whites of my eyes and sure enough they were very, very yellow.
I had an ultra sound, a CT scan and I was sent to another hospital for an ERCP. The ERCP found that my bile duct was blocked at the place where it discharged into the duodenum. There was no evidence of gall stones which was the first thing that came to mind. I was fitted with a stent to expand the bile duct to allow free flow of the bile which had been building up in my blood stream and tissues, hence causing the jaundice. They also took some scrapings from the area of the head of the pancreas. (Scrapings? I don't know what that means but it wasn't a biopsy as such).
I was discharged from the hospital on the 15th January this year but was re-admitted for three days a few days later with intense pain in a band completely around my midriff.
When I was discharged for the second time, I received a letter about the 22nd of January with an appointment to see a consultant on the 25th of this month at a different.hospital.
About a week later i received another letter from the new hospital saying that they had had to cancel the appt. on the 25th and could I make it on the 4th Feb. I remarked to my husband that that was bad news. Sure enough when we attended on the 4th, the consultant came right out and said that there was a tumour on the head of the pancreas. He also said that wheter it was cancerous or not, it had to come out, as it could not be biopsied in situ.
So that is why I still do not know 100% if it is cancer or not. Like I said I am pretty sure that it is. Another thing that he said was that as the tumour had formed right at the head of my pancreas, I was one of the lucky 3% that had a very good prognosis because of the postion of the tumour, my symptoms were brought on very soon and the tumour was still very small. Apparently ther are only 8 to 15% of pancreatic cancer sufferers that are operable. So, if it can be considered lucky to be told that you have a tumour, then yes, I do consider myself very lucky.
Pancreatic cancer is known as the 'silent killer' as usually if the tumour starts at the tail or at the side pf the pancreas, by the time the symptoms appear, it is too late to do anything but offer palliative care.
I have always been a 'Glass half full' kind of person, rather than a 'Glass half empty' attitude. So all my friends have been forbidden to show sympathy or get upset, at least whilst I am in their company. I have managed to stay very positive and upbeat about it all and in doing so, my husband is finding it easier to cope. He tends to take his lead from me so I have to stay positive.
I would be lying if I said I was unconcerned but I have always been very stoical in my life. It is strange that the only time I let something bad get to me, involving a close member of my immediate family. It completely knocked me sideways. I am sure that the stress and pain I felt from the incident, has brought on this awful disease.
I am still hopeful of a good outcome and I am enjoying doing what I can while I can. I have been told that I will be in hospital for between 10 days and three weeks depending on how well I recover. I am hoping that with a positive attitude and the support of my husband of 32 years and my good friends I can make a speedy recovery
I have been reading some of the stories on here of some of the people diagnosed with this form of cancer and they are heartbreaking.
I hope to come back to this blog on a regular basis to keep updating what is happening to me. I want to read this in a years time, just to realise how lucky I am.
Regards to all.
Pat.
