At midnight tonight my diet will only consist of clear liquids and boiled sweets, with a laxative thrown in on the Wednesday too. This will be my diet until Thursday 26 May 2011 - on this date I'll be nil by mouth. Ready for my operation on that date. I'll be having my tumour removed and a loop ileostomy.
Finally it's here. I've waited and waited and now there's no going back. The nerves have kicked in. I'm grinding my teeth and pushing my tongue against my bottom row of front teeth so hard I've moved my teeth slightly. I'm nervous about the op itself, the coming round from it, the reality of it all, the wires and tubes I'll be connected to, and of course looking at my new scar and ileostomy. It's going to be a lot to take in. But, it's going to get rid of this cancer.
My radiotherapy pain has finally calmed down. I thought it would never go, but I'm noticing an improvement. I stupidly though fell down the stairs a few days ago, and landed smack bang on my backside. It was like having 25 rounds of radiotherapy in a minute. The pain was crazy. I scared myself. Worrying I'd damaged something because the radiotherapy has made me so sensitive internally. I was also worried because I was finding it difficult to walk. The day after I was at Tesco picking some bits up, and burst into tears at one point because the pain was so bad. I gave in and 'phoned a nurse to ask what I should do. She told me to go to A&E and get checked out, just so we know. We were both worrying that something might be wrong and effect the operation on Thursday.
I went to A&E where I saw a couple of helpful nurses. I then saw a Doctor. Who was more interested in showing off her cleavage. She was also more interested in how I discovered I have cancer. She wasn't that bothered about the pain I was in and the reason I was there. She then told me she wouldn't x ray me because even if there was a crack, they'd not do anything about it. She told me to take a painkiller and get some rest. Oh and the operation would allow me some rest time. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
So today, I plan on relaxing and getting ready for my meal out tonight with an old school friend. I plan on eating something really tasty. Then tomorrow the hunger begins :D so tomorrow I'll focus on reading and getting things ready for hospital.
So, the next time I post I'll probably be recovering from the op, and I expect I'll have a story or two, Wish me luck, people.
Hoping you're all doing OK and sending you positive thoughts/hugs/love for anything you may be facing xxx
