First, Dave is doing terrific. He's still very fatigued and now about 40 pounds overweight (from 50). He works more than 40 hours a week and so I don't give a hard time about it, but as the weather has gotten nicer he has joined me on some 2-5 mile walks and its a start. We both put on pounds through this process, and at 50+ it is hard to get them off. But you know me, any forward progress no matter how small, is worth celebrating.
I have had a more difficult time transitioning from fighting the cancer to living with cancer. Dave continued to work throughout his treatment and my "job" was to take care of him and support him so he could do all of that. He has simply gone back to work and I find myself rumbling around the house with a bit of a lost feeling. I don't have my job that I resigned from back east for the move, and I don't have my job as a full time caregiver anymore. So while it is certainly something to celebrate, and I do, I find myself wondering what I will do now... For the most part I have been embracing the UN-eventfullness in our daily lives and just taking my time to get motivated to do things that I don't typically enjoy, like housework and getting more moved in. I have been enjoying connecting with old friends, flying back to visit our children, etc. Which by the way, our eldest child, our son, 23, is graduating from University this month and we are flying out next week for the festivities. We are obviously very proud of him and can't wait to see him and share this joyful accomplishment. He'll be heading to Orlando for a summer post graduate internship at Epcot in Disney and has had some job offers when he completes that. He's waiting for the offer from a company that he would like to work for which he'll probably get. He will meet with them in Orlando when he gets in and has two interviews with them already. Its nice to see one of our young'ins begin to his new "life". I will miss him coming home of course, but I couldn't be happier for him. Dave will make the drive down with him to Florida after graduation. I will make the drive 3,000 miles across the country with our daughter, in her 3rd year, to southern California where she will stay with a friend for the summer. She secured an internship with a photography company there.
Dave is on maintenance therapy, common these days with cancer, and its not too bad. He gets a weekly infusion, which only takes 30 minutes door to door, and then a daily oral chemo drug along with an antibiotic. He loves his job and we are slowly beginning to feel like we have finally arrived in California. Sometimes when I look back on all that we have gone through, I just can't fathom it.
While I'm not on here much these days, I want you all to know that I do think of you often and miss you. I went out to dinner some months back when in Little Rock with some Myeloma folks and was struck by how cancer intertwined in our dinner conversation amongst all other manner of topics as if it was just another subject. No one stopped, no one looked pitiful, it just was another beat in the conversation. I loved it. I know many of us feel at times that our "friends" don't really get it, and I decided long ago, I'm glad for them that they don't. Because if they did, they would have gone through something unpleasant. So I have my cancer buddies and my non cancer buddies and it is totally OK.
Carry on... Stay STRONG...
Lori
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain!"
