I'm scared about what the future holds....my partner is waiting to have an MRI scan which will decide whether she needs a lumpectomy or a mastectomy. Although she appears on the outside to be taking it all in her stride, I'm really worried about the long term impact for her, especially if she needs more major surgery. I would like to hear from anyone who's been through this, especially from those who's partners have had surgery about how they have coped and supported their loved one through this ordeal. I am not natually good at "being strong" but am trying to stay strong for her and the kids. Be pleased to hear from you....
FormerMember
Hi Betty, thanks for your support - good luck to you, your husband and family x
Hi Kate, thanks for your kind and supportive words, I agree it's the "not knowing" that's the hardest thing. MRI scan booked for Weds 21st Jan so will know a bit more after that (keeping everything crossed!). We will certainly hold on tight to each other and I'm sure we will come out the other end smiling. Take care and thanks again x
Hi Kate, thanks for taking the trouble to post your comments - MRI scan booked for next Weds 21st so will know more then - keeping everything crossed!! Thanks again and all the best to you x
I had to have a mastectomy as my tumor was too big to perform a lumpectomy and then when they did the operation they found another tumor behind the original one.
That was over three years ago and I underwent chemo and radiotherapy and a year later reconstruction and touch wood Im fine. It does seem very frightening and a long road to travel when the diagnosis is first made and of course everyone has their dark days but for many of us there is light at the end of the tunnel eventually.
I wish you all well, somedays whatever you say or do will be the wrong thing, just be there for her, it means so much to have a loving, strong partner to lean on.
Hi there. I had a lumpectomy and node clearance in May 2007. It all seems like yesterday. As my cancer had spread I had to have chemo from June to December 2007 and I had radiotherapy in Jan 2008. Looking back it was all a nightmare and of course it all happens so quickly that your feet hardly touch the ground. Decisions have to be made in a moment and as the patient you feel that you have to be strong for the rest of the family which is daft. I felt that I spoiled everyone's day when you were telling them for the first time. My son lives in Edinburgh and I couldn' t bear to tell him on the phone so we went up as we usually do for a weekend near his birthday and it was actually on his birthday that he was given the news - that still haunts me. I think it's a good idea to discuss how you want things to be handled but try also to be flexible. My husband was great at fielding calls whereas I felt quite guilty when people were phoning up to see how I was and I could barely lift my head off the sofa. I felt that sometimes I needed time to be miserable and down and a bit self-indulgent and he respected that and by having "permission" to have that down time I soon enough perked up and was a bit more like my old self again (not so sure that that's a good thing though) It's hard work trying to be happy and positive all the time . I don't know about being strong - it comes from somewhere and I think we muddled along ok. Some days I was quite upbeat, others I wasn't and the same with my husband, but we talked about it. In fact I think it made us stronger as a couple. I don't think I could have been the onlooker, which may sound odd. In some ways it was easier to be the person having the treatment. I don't think I have his patience. The very fact that you are onthis website asking the questions suggests to me that you'll be fine and know what to do at the right time. Hope it all goes well. It does pass, believe me although at the moment you are at the bottom of the mountain looking up.
