Hi everyone, I'm completely new to all this; not looking for sympathy, but positive cheerful chat from folk that accept their condition, and can help me pass that positive approach on to Lee my sister, and possibly, just possibly we can pass some positive vibes on too. Lee is my sister, she's 69 years old and unmarried, lives alone in a single ground floor cottage just four doors away from me. I am her sister, Carer and I hope best friend.
Lee had a primary breast cancer 17 years ago, and never dreamt anything would rear its ugly head years later, however two and a half years ago an aching hip and swollen knee were diagnosed as secondary bone cancer in her hip and pelvis. Weight loss has been constant and drastic following radio and chemo, with endless scans, ct's and untrasounds along the way too.
Now we're into the paliative care stage, where keeping Lee pain free is the main objective, and in the main its working.
A recent chest infection hospitalised her, and prompted the making of a will, and funeral arrangements - Always look on the bright side of life, is to be played at her cremation along with All things bright and beautiful. But she made it through, recovered well, and is now home. However, I have to say that a poorly woman went into hospital and a frail old lady came home. Lee is still as independant as possible, hating to ask for things to be done, I try and anticipate her needs and do the things she cannot, now she's been home four weeks and is able to get her meals for herself again she is much happier, and doesn't have to put up with my (sometimes) feeble attempts to cook what she likes.
There is so much more to this story that might just help others, but I'll keep that for another time, and see if anyone is interested in my continuing or wants to add their input.
Thanks for listening - just writing this out is a great help to me anyway. Take care all. Gill.
FormerMember
Hello Gill and welcome to the site. I hope that you find it as helpful as I have. I was a carer until March this year when I sadly lost my husband to lung cancer. People are so supportive and will carry you through the bad times and run with you though the good times. To me it is so very important to have people in your corner. I come here most days and visit the chat room which is very friendly and supportive if sometimes a little mad. If you come in please don't run away. Just let people know you are there and then when you feel comfortable, join in the conversation or even change the topic. I do hope that your sister continues to recover and regain more of her independance. It must be very difficult for her to have to rely on you. It must also be very frustrating for you watching your dear sister and being unable to change her situation. Anyway, take care and hope to see you in chat very soon x x x
I am in a similar situation as you with my sister having secondary breast cancer which she was first diagnosed with in 1999. She now has it in her liver and has been told her cancer is terminal. She is not at the stage your sister is yet, although she was only give 3 months to live in March last year. We are also very close and live very near each other and I would consider her my best friend too, so I can really identify with your situation. Liz is still extremely active and surprises me so much every day with her energy her independance is fantastic and hates us to do anything for her (we have 4 sisters and 2 brothers). She is very positive and is stronger than all of us. I could say so much but the nosey so and so reads all the blogs!!!!! she is a member of this site too, so all I will say is stick in there you are doing a fantastic job, just being there for her is all she needs even if she thinks you are a pain in the neck you know she really does appreciate you just being her sister.
I agree with Dev above why not try the chat room , I too am on there most nights and find it uplifting when I am feeling a little low, we talk about everything but do have some very serious discussions about how we are feeling too, some people find it a little too lighthearted sometimes but hey if we can't have a laugh what are we supposed to do. Morning Liz I know you are reading this.
