Background: Prostate cancer, Gleason 7 (4+3, locally advanced, not spread to bones or nodes).
Well, here I am just 6 months after completing my R/T and still taking Casodex and a weekly dose of Tamoxifen. I sometimes wonder if I'm becoming a hypochondriac because of the plethora of small 'issues' I'm noticing and which seem likely to be side effects of my treatment, but the main thing is that I'm still feeling upbeat about things in general.
I still marvel at this. I suppose it's a consequence of actually having something real happen to me rather than worrying that something like this might happen to me. I know that others have expressed the same sentiment. I'm simply not worrying about anything right now and this fact alone continues to amaze me! In fact I sometimes think it's beter to be the patient myself than to love and care for someone else who is a patient. There's a sense of having some sort of control over things, I suppose.
I'm still waiting for my appointment to see the colorectal specialist who is going to check the cause of my bleeding 'down below', but the urologist, in his referral letter, said that he was quite sure that what I'm experiencing is merely some collateral damage caused by the R/T. It's not a problem for me so I'm not worrying about it.
I'm still unhappy about my ongoing sore breasts (which have grown a bit but not too much - yet) and the signs of a new layer of fat that I don't think I've caused by the usual over-indulgences. I think I'm going to have to live with this for the duration, but I've become a mite self-conscious I admit. My wife has been good about it and suggested that I wear a tight T-shirt beneath my shirts to help 'contain' the swelling. Oh joy.
The forum makes good reading. One or two 'sufferers' describe experiences and symptoms identical to mine. It's surprisingly uplifting to realise that I'm not alone. I do feel for those folk who are just starting off their cancer journeys, whether personally or as friends/ spouses / loved ones. I want to reach out to them all and reassure them that, as these things go, it really isn't that bad.
I realise that this is tantamount to telling a natural worrier to stop worrying, but I hope that they gain the strength that comes from realising that treatment will be excellent and the support first class.
If anybody's reading this, keep smiling! If nothing else, it confuses the enemy!!
Keith
30 Sep 09
