my gay lover has hodgkins desease and i dont know where else to turn to

my partner of 4 years has had a few cancers before him and i got involved and after we got involved it kept changing from one cancer to the other when i met him i believe he had spinal cancer then 2 years after that the doc said it was spreading to the liver and pancreas then i guess those went dormant and now its in the bones he had a bone marrow biopsy i'm still a lil ignorant to the whole thing because 1 we had broken up and i left the country and 2 it keeps changing hence the reason i joined this site because i need all the info i can get. Right now i'm fearing the worst i mean hes normally very exaggerating about EVERYTHING and he thinks these are his last days but i dont know so i'm in a state of depression and panic i can hardly sleep and i'm stressed to the max cuz hes lashing out at me and then my job is stressing me to anyhoos back to him umm hes going through chemo right now he started in April and its schedule to finish in Oct oh i left the something out i think January this year he was diagnosed with hodgkin's lymph. he had the lump removed from his neck that same month then he got the bone marrow biopsy the march after that then after that he started chemo right now our relationship is....just... messed up i'm always sad or having crying fits at work (dont mean to be a sissy but this is my first love not first boyfriend) we're arguing all the time i go out and drink or have a joint just to take my mind off of all this but it causes problems cuz he hates when i drink or when i'm out partying so i have to purchase it and do it in secret i have my best friend who i discuss it with he understands both our sides but suggests i should seek professional help to deal with him because hes using me as his martyr but i'm afraid that i'm not strong enough. OK so hes vomiting all the time his nails are green toe and finger nails i mean GREEN!!! his eye are turning green as well his hair is TOTALLY straight he says sometimes he doesnt have any taste so he eats melon or something very tangy well i dunno if any of u guys now of a fruit called Tamarind well we're in the west indies so we have something called tamarind balls which would bring his taste back for a short while so just a few days ago the doc told him hes not responding to the chemo so it just makes me think theres no more hope for him and he thinks that also i got off the phone with him a few hrs ago he said that he wanst feeling well very nauseated so he couldnt talk much but he did say he wants to go to the hospital but now i call NONE of his phones are being answered and i dont know wat the hell i'm going to do. oh he is age 30 i'm 21 if that means anything. PLEASE HELP US!!!