TESCO

One day, leaning on the bar, Pete says to John 'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a Doctor!' Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery,' John replies. There's a new diagnostic computer at Tesco's Pharmacy. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's Wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs only five pounds.....a lot quicker and better than a doctor - and you get Club card Points.' So Pete collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He deposits five pounds; the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds Later, the computer ejects a printout:- You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Pete Began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixes some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife, his daughter and the cat, and masturbated into the mixture For good measure. Pete hurries back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposits his five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits for the results The computer prints the following:- 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener (aisle 7). 2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet. 3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo (aisle 3). 4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins.. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your tennis elbow will never get better. Thank you for shopping at Tesco. Remember, we're on your side and every little helps!