MEN

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE ! ' And they say blondes are dumb... ----------------------------------------------------------- The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...' ------------------------------------------------------- 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied. ------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ------------------------------------------- A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger..... Whoosh..immediately he turned 90!!! Gotta love that fairy! ----------------------------------------------------------- Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. -------------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. --------------------------------------------- Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. ------------------------------------------ Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'