Birthday.... Happy or sad??

Well, it is now 13th July and yesterday it was my birthday. It was also 19 weeks since my darling Ray relocated to heaven. It was a very difficult day as I kept becoming very tearful and didn't want to cry. My eldest son Stuart was with me for most of the day. When we got up, we had a bacon butty (I never eat breakfast normally). Then I went off to the Sunday church service and he went off on a practice run (he is doing the Snowdonia Marathon later in the year). Met my dad at church and he came back with me before going on his weekly pilgrimage to visit mum's resting place. Stuart and I spent the afternoon relaxing and enjoying each other's company. The family met up early evening and went to an Italian Restaurant for dinner. Everything was fine until the meal came and then ooooh dear the tears threatened so I had to excuse myself until I was more composed. We did have a good time with lots of laughs but there was an underlying air of sadness in the air. We will have looked just like any other party out to enjoy themselves but were each hurting in our own way. I have the most amazing and supportive family but I do not like letting them see me upset as I find it embarrassing to actually show visually how I am feeling. (Do as I say not as I do is my motto). Having said that, sometimes it is just too hard to control. On an upbeat note, I have just found out that my niece has had a son born today at around 11.30am. I am thrilled and it is just the thing that is needed to give my mum-in-law a lift because she has been very 'down' this last couple of weeks. So my friends, thank you for all your support over the past few months it means such a lot to me. Take care and be good x x Tricia xx "Ray, I will love you always and forever"