starting out

I am so sorry to hear aboiut your diagnosis but you need to take each day at a time.  Your journey will be different to anyone elses as we are all unique and you just need to concentrate on the people that can support you.  You will also find that as with your boss, some people do not know how to react to the illness and do what they think is right but may not be right for you.  I am sure you will have colleagues at work that will support you through this.  Please talk to the nurses at the hospital about support groups in your area and ask them everything they will understand and be very patient.    As far as the personal things like hair loss and illness, these are also different for everyone.  I found that the weeks illness after chemo was bearable and then went back to work for my own sanity for the two weeks after.  I did loose my hair,  but this was a small price to pay for the chance of more years ahead.  The wigs these days are brilliant.  Please access all the support you can...and do whats right for you.  Good luck.

Hello Winnie

Welcome to the site - I am so glad you found us and am sure you will find loads of support and many new friends here.  

As Sandy says, we are all different and it's impossible to say "this WILL happen" or "this WON'T happen".  Everyone has different side effects to different degrees and you won't know what's going to happen until you start your treatment.  Most people do find that the side effects follow a pattern - i.e., if you feel nauseous from days 1-3 on your first cycle, this will probably happen at each subsequent cycle.  This is quite helpful as it does enable you to plan your life around the days when you will be feeling OK!

I'm sure you will get lots of suggestions on how to deal with nausea.  I usually have a dry biscuit and a cup of tea as soon as I wake up, and this settles me until the anti nausea drugs kick in.  You will be given medication to help with nausea and it's important to take this regularly - it's easier to stop nausea starting than to try to make it g away!  I also found it helpful to drink ginger ale or flat coke.  

Re hair loss.  I did have a wig which I wore if I were going out in the evening.  During the day I found the wig a bit hot, so usually just wore a scarf - you can buy pre-tied ones which don't slip. Don';t forget your head will get cold at night - a beanie or cap will help with the heat loss.  

And finally - I hope you keep coming onto the site  There will always be someone who can answer any questions you may have on practical issues - and I'm sure you will make many new friends - we are all in the same boat and have the same worries and fears.  I certainly couldn't have got through the last couple of years without my new 'family' here.

Good luck and please keep in touch.

Hugs, Kate xxx

Hello Winnie - Welsome to the Macmillan website. I can see that you are in a deal of shock over you unexpected diagnosis - its awful isn't it - I said it was like being pushed onto a really scary rollercoaster that you never wanted to be on. My first thoughts are to try to reassure you - you WILL feel better when you have a clearer idea about your individual treatment plan - once we know HOW the doctors are going to treat the cancer we can face each phase in turn and feel reasured that something is being done to remove the cancer. Are you going to have chemo before surgery? Do you know which type of chemo? I am astounded at what your manager did by telling your colleagues - I am quite sure if you have the energy that you could easily make an official complaint about that - he/she should not be revealing information about your health without your permission - Try a letter to HR. I dont understand why you say that you will never work again ? I went back to work at the end of my treatment in 2003 and completed my degree. Anyway as Kate has said please keep comming here and updating us on your progress - you can say things here which you maybe cannot to your friends and family. You dont mention how old you are or if you have a family or not. I have sent you a friend request. Lots of love Jools xx

Thank you all for your comments - sharing concerns certainly does help -and supportive suggestions do help to make life bearable. I`m now 1 week post 1st FEC - 4th day was the worst. I`m still struggling with belief that all this planned treatment will give hope of recovery. Being ill is a new experience for me, but the sisterhood of sites such as this does help. current concern is around when to have my hair shaved off - a process I know I am going to find traumatic.  

Hi Winnie, just wondered how you were coping now with your treatment, all the best. x