Thank you this is my first message and i am not even sure what i am asking but here is my journey .My dad lost both his legs 4 years ago,and has a clot near his heart which we know can go bang and he will go instantly ,so 4 months ago we were then told he is terminally ill with pancreatic cancer,there is no treatment just keeping him pain free,and no surgery.He does not want to know where else it is going.We were given a max 12 months and i feel time is going so fast.I wear a mask at my parents and am trying to be strong and inside today i finally cracked and have got pills i dont really want but she thinks it will help me as time goes along.I feel like i grieving for dad even though he still here ,but honest i have never felt heart ache like it is ,my mam is disabled and worry for her as she is dads main carer .,but i know i will not mange trying to be strong for how ever long is left .Macmillan nurse goes every other week at moment and said dad sounds like he had 2 episodes lately but she did not say how often these happen and like now he has had 3 days no pain meds been so so ,but tonight he no strength and needed morphine ........
