This week....

Hi I felt like you a few months ago ,when i was told that there was no trace of cancer left, Everyone was elated, i just felt numb even though i was happy about the outcome.I cried buckets for days and i think i had held it all in during the treatment that when it was all over ,it was a big relief and just came spilling out of me.  Two months on and i am feeling much better and have just returned to work.In the forum life after cancer(think that's what it is called) there is a good article and it answered a lot of questions about how i was feeling,have a read.Best wishes   Sue  xx

Hi,

I also felt the same as you and over a year on since diagnosis and treatment I still have times when I just feel at odds from everyone else. It is so hard to explain your feelings and after all the focus on you and your cancer its hard to go back to 'normal' life. I never took time off when I was diagnosed and had minimum sick leave for my surgery and it came back to bite me. Thats when I had to turn to my Macmillan nurse and confess the exterior (bubbly, confident, happy, getting on with life) me was a bit of an act. I does get easier and you have to learn to be kid to yourself and except that your life has changed forever. I had cervical cancer and can now no longer have the baby I dreamed of an some days when yet another friend tells me they are pregnant I just feel so low and desperate that things were different but I am here, alive and I have other amazing things in my life. I hope you will continue to get support from other people here. I for one am always here if you need a chat. i've written a lot of poetry which I will post on my page but for now I wil write this one:

Cancer Comarades

No-one but us feels the haunting pain,

of the scars left behind

by the fears in our mind.

Time flies, lives collide in unexpected ways

so we are drawn together by torn and tattered dreams

an understanding of the loss,

the what could have been.

No-one but us can claim to feel the same

but no pity remains

amoungst cancer comarades

take care xxx

Hi again, The forum is Living beyond cancer,and the article is on Helping you cope post treatment.

Take care Sue  .   Your poem is very true Niccy xx

Hello - I'm going through exactly the same motions: got the 'all clear', had the bubbly and suddenly the 'thouhgts'!  I red the article on the Living beyond cancer forum: very helpful indeed.  

Sometimes I feel like one of the veterans: nice quite life, fought bravely for their country and then back to their quite life.  I was the healthiest person I knew for 52 years and then I got cancer.  I managed to work through treatment and now I'm 'back to normal'.  No I am not!  Like the veterans, all I can talk about is my war: cancer!  Obviously I don't actually talk about it - everybody keeps telling me to be grateful, etc, etc, etc.  I can't write blogs about it.  All I can do is 'finding a little corner' when nobody is  looking and talk about it in my head.  So far I have managed to avoid the 'men in white coats'.  

This MacMillan site is very helpful though.  I found your blog very conforting: you came here for help and you end up giving me help!  So to you, and everybody else who red my paragraphs THANK YOU!

Niccy, what a lovely poem!

All the very best

Georgia XXX

Thanks everyone....it is nice to kno im not the only one who feels like that. Georgia im glad that reading my post have given u some comfort. i guess we all deal with it in our own way talking about it onere helps me to feel normalish!

Niccy thanks for the poem...made me smile this morning. x

love and hugs all xx