Feeling helpless

Hello Anna.   I am so sorry to that you are going through all this, it's a very hard thing to bear ....... and it's especially tough when it's someone very close to you. In our case, I was the patient and my husband was caring for me after surgery and radiotherapy ...... I will say that he had it much worse in a way. You see I had to get through the treatments and was focused on that, but all my hubby could do was watch and he felt helpless. But ..... he was there for me whenever I needed anything and that was everything to me. So even though you may feel much the same at times, your man knows where you are too.

Love, Joycee xxx

Hi Anna,

I'm so sorry to read your post,  your grief and anxiety are almost palpable, you must be feeling awful. And I'm sure you're already doing everything possible for your husband, so please don't beat yourself up. I think it's time you had someone else to help you bear this burden - though I'm certain you don't see it as a burden at all. But even the most devoted carers need some "me" time, to re-charge the batteries and feel a little bit more like "normal".

There are two particular groups here that will offer you a lot of emotional support as well as good advice and encouragement. They are "Carers" and "Being a Relative". If you click on Groups at the top of the page, you'll be taken to a page where you can type in the name of the group you want to look at. Read a few of the posts, reply if you want to, and write a post of your own. I'm certain that you'll get a response, they are lovely people all dealing with issues similar to yours.

The best bit of advice I can give you is just to take one day at a time. I know that seems impossible at the moment, but it really is the best way to cope with everything. Looking too far ahead tends to paralyse you, too many thoughts jostling in an already overcrowded brain when you're not in a fit state to cope with them.

Right now, sit down with a cup of tea or coffee and a couple of biscuits, read this again, then join a group. I'm sending you a great big virtual hug, because we all need one now and then.

With love,

Twirly xxx 

Hello and thank you Joycee for your reply to my blog. I also wish you all the best with your treatment xxx also Thank you to Twirly for your good advice, I will certainly think about joining a group love Anna xxx