The funerals tommorow and to be honest im dreading it, it always seems so final after a funeral and alot of people think that the grieving should finish and we should get on with our lives. Thats not the case for a lot of people on here and certainly not for me, its been the hardest week ever having to adjust to life without pop in it and even though ive been busy organising things the thought of whats to come after is never far from my mind. My days were spent looking after my pop and giving him the best care i knew how so when everythings finished i know im going to be at a loss of what to do with myself. I have my job to go back to but thats going to be hard for me as i care for people with learning disabilitys and i dont know how im going to feel caring for others and not for pop, im hoping it might take my mind of things but i wont know till i go back.
I really miss my cuddles from pop and him saying remember that i love you always, even on the night he passed away he held me and wiped my tears away, always such a strong caring man and even wanting to save me from hurting right up until the end.
Although we are saying goodbye to him tommorow its not for me it just a farewell for now and i hope that when its my day he will be waiting for me. Theres a place in my heart where he has always been and where he will stay and he will be in my thoughts everyday.
Hes getting a good send off and all his friends and loved ones will be there to pay there last respects, the flag at the local navy club is flying half mast for him and i know he will be really proud of that.
Nicola xx
