Hi All
I'm having my first "Cancer day" for many months. I thought they were on the decline but a phone call from my Oncologist to inform me that at the "team" meeting Monday the Radiologist requires a PET scan as the last MRI scan was in-conclusive. Although the Oncologist says its nothing to worry about, guess what I'm worried!
I was starting to think I was at least at the edge of the forest if not out of the trees yet but now I've gone backwards in the phsycological coping stakes.
I can put up with the after effects of the treatment, urgent bowel, stinging water works etc but now it's a case of here we go again. I was just about forgetting my woes and was convinced that I'd beaten this thing as all previous appointments with the Oncologist had been so positive. I am back at work albeit part time 3 days a week and I'm sure some of my colleagues think I'm playing the "Cancer card" as I appear outwardly to be my old self and should be back full time but quite honestly if I could retire on full benefits I would (been at the same place for nearly 26 years now) so that I can do what I want to do as at times like this I'm thinking "what if?"
Its the mental effects of the Cancer that are the hardest to cope with, the mood swings, sometimes anger, these things I find hard to explain to others who aren't in the same position perhaps more should be done to explain these side effects to the general populace I know we don't want to have labels or placards around our necks but sometimes it would help if people were more aware.
Love to all
Erics Keeper (on a bad day)
