The beginning of the Emotionally Needy Gardener

On 17 July 2020, I was a couple of weeks in to my first round of chemo. I was blogging everyday on Facebook, still feeling not to bad, still had hair!

I had a massively overgrown garden - combo of chemo and suregery and breaking my arm the previous year - so got a man in to do it.

After 5 failed attempts, I found this one...

The mad gardener is coming today and I need to make an offering of tea (milk, two-and-a-half sugars, did you run out of sugar luv?!) every hour or he talks at me. Sainsburys delivery is therefore happening before he arrives, or I have no milk.

F1* Make him a flask and lock the door 

me*  might put the kettle near the back door and let him crack on. But when he had his 18 rounds of chemo and didn't lose his hair he also had to be careful so it's all fine he knows what I'm going through
me* He's "cheering me up" with tales of people where chemo didn't work and they're terminal. Theses cuppas are going to cost me today. (This first one was a friend of his who lived alone (as I do) who has cancer (as I do) who had been found dead in their house after 2 weeks of not answering calls coz we're in lockdown and no-one knew they were dead. Uplifting eh)
F2* Return the favour... tell him about gardening accidents gone wrong 
me* he has three fingers on one hand... 
2nd cuppa delivered. He showed me his scar. Thankfully, his was thyroid cancer
Third cuppa. Guess what. Got a "funny story" about him pulling his picc line out in his sleep and losing a lot of blood.
I even stared him in the eye and said "Fred I am in the middle of this, this is another horrible story". Fuckin ell he's here til 4
remember I am a person who sleep talks, sleepwalks and sleep texts, dreaming I have a foreign body in my arm and ripping it out is A Thing I have concerned my brain with
F3* sorry I know I shouldn't laugh but your delivery of this is too funny  Big hugs, its a tough time for you 
I WAS going to post that I felt mean, he's very well meaning. But OHMIGOD I need to share this experience or I'm going to dissolve!!!!!
1pm cuppa - he forgot I'm having chemo 
F4*  No wayyy!!
me* waayyyy! He was asking me if I had been enjoying the sunshine on my decking in the lovely hot weather, and I was Fred, I'm having chemo i can't sit in the sun chemo and sunbathing don't mix well and he was oh really are you having chemo??
2pm cuppa was just a "thank you" 
3pm cuppa. Have consoled him for another customer telling him he had "awful customer service skills"
He left at 4. I was required to go out and say hello/goodbye to his mate who picks him up, despite having already said goodbye to the gardener, and having a visitor. Because... no I've no fucking clue why. Social behaviour is weird

Anonymous
  • So funny ! Gardening accidents gone wrong !!!!!

  • Here's one to regale him with.....our gardener doesn't do ladders anymore......not since he hurt his ankle when he fell off doing something to a hedge or something and collided with a small wall beneath. and 2) whilst messing with the garage door it entirely came off its attachment at the side and nearly decapitated him. Hasn't  touched it since. Unfortunately he now has cancer of the thyroid but does not want to know any details of what this may entail, so difficult to help him. He asked me what the thyroid was though, so that's a start.......whereas I feel I need to know everything about mine in order to deal with it right.

  • That's made me smile. Thank you for sharing your interaction with an obviously socially inept gardener!