Had to take car to the garage yesterday, my daughter came with me and it was difficult to keep being "human" I know the family mean well and I can't hurt them but I just want to be left alone and not to have to smile and make conversation. I can't even cope with me.
I can't believe it's 81/2 weeks since he died. At the service we played Celine Dion singing "Because you loved me" and every word of the song is true. I'd never really listened to it before and heard it by chance, I wish I could have played to him when he was here.
Where is my guiding hand? my strength? that other part of me that makes me whole? Gone forever? I'm so sure that I'll wake up any minute turn over in bed and say "Oh! I've just had a terrible nightmare" and he'll say "well you're alright now, everythings ok love".
