Hi, I've recently been advised of a Brain Tumor and been advised it would help to put my thoughts down - i I ramble, I apologise

Hi It all started very recently, I was not feeling myself about 5 weeks ago, I took 4 days off work, then went into the office and had a Seizure. After visiting two hospitals for EEGs ECGs and MRI's I came home from the last MRI to find 2 policemen waiting at my front door advising me to get back to the hospital at once and gave me a number to call. I must admit, I couldn't even dial the number my hand was shaking so much. I got back on the train and went back to the hospital, I was advised to take a small bag with me as I may be in for a day or two. I hoped I had moved and the scan just didn't work. Upon arrival, I was taken into a bedroom and sat down and advised that they found that the first tests showed some discrepancies and the MRI confirmed I have a 50 p piece tumor 4-5 cms into in the right had side of my brain - to be honest, it didn't really sink in. My wife was very upset, I don't think I understood what was happening. Two days later they took me down for my first pience of surgery. The op was quite successful, but I lost my peripheral vision in the left eye and some reduced sight in the right eye after the first op. I'm in good spirits in myself, bearing in mind what is happening. I am more worred about my wife and she is going to cope - especially if I start to loose my capacity to fully move, talk etc. I have been advised that there is a high risk of paralaysis occurring in the event of removal - I still consider myself quite young and don't want to spend the next 40 years being relient upon others to do tasks. Am i being selfish? I feel that I am. I'll keep my blogs short each day as it takes me some time to type these things up. I'd be interesting in hearing from anyone who has gone through, or is going through this. Edward